I have always believed that no matter how ugly someone else acts...That I try to just show kindness...Sometimes if someone acts ugly over and over if you just show kindness back that it will rub off on them or it will make them feel bad about acting so ugly....

I deal with them by not looking at them when they speak to me. This way, they get the hint that I'd rather not speak to them without me having to be rude by telling them to get out of my face!! Jaxspike, I like your response! People hate sarcasm but it normally does the trick.

According to some people you work with, Kindness is viewed as a weakness. So they use that against you in some fashion because you must be an easy mark. And that just isn't true. In today's market though, it just doesn't pay to be kind anymore. Sad world, but oh so true.

If the fools's irritating qualities make us become less than we'd like to be,they win.

I'd rather meet my downfall by being honest,kind, etc.than by being selfish,deceitful,arrogant,dastardly or cruel.

(I don't think anyone really "wins" by being unlikeable-even in the short run.)

If one can get at the root of their bad attitude and fix it,fine.

They may have an underlying problem,they may not know how to do things the right way - or they may be plain stupid.

I've seen very efficient leaders who exemplified strength and competence while modeling positive attributes.

Whether they did it on purpose or not,they sent the message that people who had a good work ethic,stuck to their principles and cared about other people had greater success in the workplace and the rest of their lives.

While they may have seemed non-threatening,they were also obviously non-threatened.

They just refused to play the game by the rules designed by losers.

It might be worth a try to find a legitimate way of giving the troublemakers what they're attempting to achieve the wrong way.

What are they after? Recognition? Respect? Safety? Security?

Direct them toward appropriate ways of earning their goals and flat shut down all the alternatives.

Don't reward misbehavior but when they are denied the privilege of ruining the work environment for others,give them the chance to see how much more effective the decent methods can be.

It's easy to hold onto bad patterns if one's behaviour is never challenged or if one is kicked out and allowed to wallow in contempt and martyrdom.

Let these emotional vampires save face and get acquainted with reality and they might become happier and more productive people.

At the very least,the people they come in contact with will know that their comfort matters more than some brat's maladjusted attitude.

A little assertiveness and charity can go a long way toward imposing decent conduct.

People with any sense and mature character will eventually respond favorably toward people who have self-respect and respect *them* enough to expect them to behave properly.

The rest would prefer that their targeted victims get angry,scared,or otherwise cheated out of a pleasant life.

If others insist on being good guys with positive attitudes then all that venom has to return whence it came.

They can either let it go or explode because no one else is going to accept it.

If they want to live in cramped boxes labeled "victim" and "victimizer",that's their choice.

Y'all might prefer living outside the boxes and having the space to grow as much as you can.

I understand what you're saying,too.

I agree that it's healthy for people to realize there are consequences for the actions they take.

Sometimes,people who have misbehaved go all puppy-eyed and say "Can't you forgive me?" or even go on to rant "If you were a loving Christian,you'd forgive me!"

The sad part is they haven't repented nor do they want reconciliation.

They want to be let off the hook or have an excuse to write the other person off as "mean",stupid, unreasonable or otherwise unworthy of their respect and consideration.

Yes,I can forgive them.

(The Lord knows I've had enough practice.)

But,dismissing their ill conduct cheapens real turn-arounds and genuine healing of discord.

It's putting cosmetics over a festering wound instead of cleaning out the corruption and letting it become sound again.

At times like those,I keep my forgiveness between me and my Maker or I ask Him to do the hard part because I can't do forgiveness toward them on my own right then.

I do try to make it as easy as possible for people to step away from their worst nature and believe in themselves enough not to rely on stupid tactics.

Where the "deceitful,etc." comes in is the insistence the world has that the way to win the rat race is to become a bigger rat than your competitors.

Sorry,but the prize for that contest isn't worth what I'd have to do to make the finals.

If I'm going to wind up a loser,I'd rather be one who was co-operative,fair and took necessary risks rather than suffer because I refused to focus on anyone but myself.

If I let the bad guys turn me into a carbon copy of them or stop trusting people or stop believing people are worth salvaging,then I've definitely lost.

If I let them continue to sabotage themselves and those around them,I'm cheating them as well as the people they hurt.

I can't be too harsh toward the rude,crude and socially unacceptable because I'm still a dues-paying member of the flawed human being club.

Too often,I've been the one who was dismissive and snarky or tried to score off the other guy.

I've had moments when it was more important to me that the other guy lose than for me to have the victory.

The people who goaded me were no help nor were the ones who gave up on me by condoning my stupidity or rejecting me.

I owe a lot to the ones who wouldn't let me get away with being destructive or a hindrance.

Their idea of "enabling" was giving me the support I required to recognize and get past my foibles.

It's good to admit we're all works-in-progress but we'll never pass inspection if we are permitted to violate code during construction.

If we build our character one bit at a time with the best materials and best workmanship available,then our finished product will be something we can be proud of.

We will have success because we earned it-not because we took what we wanted at someone else's expense.

Quantumcat, You make very good and interesting points! I enjoyed reading your comments! I try not to be rude and get "the upper hand" because in the long-run, it only makes me look like a "donkey". I learned a long time ago to think before I speak and, even if I get mad or hurt, not to say something equally offensive. I did that once with a family member, I had the last word, and she died in a car accident just a few hours later! That's why I totally understand what you are saying! Now, I try to be as polite as humanly possible, and that's why, if I don't really have anything nice to say to the person, I either don't say anything or I just don't look at them when they are speaking to me! Thanks for your response!

You do not know how much your words have touched me! I'm fighting back tears! Thank you!!