Do you know ...

Mary, I am sorry to change the subject, but I just now read your article in this morning's T-G. It was great and you should add me to your team of those who are afraid of things that slither. Mtoses gave the best advice. When Ataron's rod was cast to the ground and it became a serpent, Mtoses fled from before it.

I don't know her, but I know a lot about the process for both domestic and international adoption.

Amen Jaxspike I couldn't agree more it has become a circus and I don't blame her for not going home..and I don't even know her.

I meant to say portray instead of protray.

Hmmm divorced parents put their children on airplanes everyday to send their children back and forth between parents. I know many divorced parents who live on opposite ends of the US who have been doing this for years. Child abuse/abandonment? I think not..

And quite honestly I really wish people would adopt from within the United States we have thousands of unwanted children right here that need homes..I understand the process is much quicker and cheaper going outside the states but isn't patience and expense all part of being a parent?

It sounds to me like this woman was trying to do a good thing by bringing this child into her home with her family. I am sure she did not go into this thinking she would keep him a while and then send him back. She is out money and time herself. There has to be some serious problems for her to have reacted this way.

This woman should have been told about this child's history and any mental problems he had BEFORE she adopted this child. Not only that the news media has made this into a media circus ... we do not know what this child was like nor do we know what his background was prior to coming to Tennessee heck we didn't even know he was here until she decided she could not handle the child. Would you have rather her move and left the child standing in the front yard?

And again I do not know this woman and wouldn't know her if I saw her on the street. I just know that people who go to the expense of adoption are not cold hearted people... there is some reasons behind this..

We do not know all about our natural children before they arrive either but we choose to love them unconditionally . When you adopt a child from an orphanage in another country, common sense should tell you there is a good chance of the child being angry, confused and acting out. They have had their whole world turned upside down, they are separated from everything they know and thrown by little choice of their own into a strange world they have no control over, that they are more likely than not unprepared to understand or cope with.Home, school, community are all strange, there is nothing they know as secure there to hang on to, they must find trust and acceptance and must learn from scratch where they fit in and what is expected of them. It has not been mentioned if this young boy even spoke English, imagine if he didn't, he could not even be comforted by having things explained to them in words he understood. As adults it would be hard for us to go through and we would be able to understand what was going on, these kids are not old enough to comprehend much of what is happening. What was going on in this woman's mind to do such a cruel thing to a child. We are all only human and all make mistakes, but she needs to come forward ( not necessarily in public) and clear up the questions so as not to ruin the chances of other children finding good adoptive homes in this country. By doing so she may be able to help prevent this from happening again to other children. Something in the process was flawed, and needs to be faced before it can completely be understood and fixed. As for now all she is doing is feeding the media hounds imaginations. If it was horrible enough to abandon a child like she did, she should want to more than anything come forward and see it through. If she feels he was able to handle being shipped across the world, abandoned, unwanted, by himself, she should be able to stand behind her actions, and clear up the true reasons behind it. If she continues to hide her actions show nothing more than selfishness on her part, at the expense of the reputation of our country and a very young boy.

If it was horrible enough to abandon a child like she did, she should want to more than anything come forward and see it through. If she feels he was able to handle being shipped across the world, abandoned, unwanted, by himself, she should be able to stand behind her actions, and clear up the true reasons behind it. If she continues to hide her actions show nothing more than selfishness on her part, at the expense of the reputation of our country and a very young boy.

-- Posted by wonderwhy on Wed, Apr 14, 2010, at 12:17 AM

here's my problem with your statement: Why do you feel or the media feel she should have to explain her actions to you?

Where was the media when the child was brought to Tennessee from Russia?

She does not owe the media or us and explanation for anything.

Do I think she should have put him on a plane and sent him back? Probably wasn't the best idea but I can not judge her because if I felt the child was a danger to my family I may have done something similar. Of course we still don't know if she tried to send him back through the agency or not... of course they would never admit it and they had already gotten rid of a ward of the state who was evidently a problem child..

If it was horrible enough to abandon a child like she did, she should want to more than anything come forward and see it through. If she feels he was able to handle being shipped across the world, abandoned, unwanted, by himself, she should be able to stand behind her actions, and clear up the true reasons behind it. If she continues to hide her actions show nothing more than selfishness on her part, at the expense of the reputation of our country and a very young boy.

-- Posted by wonderwhy on Wed, Apr 14, 2010, at 12:17 AM

here's my problem with your statement: Why do you feel or the media feel she should have to explain her actions to you?

Dianatn.

Here is part of my post you seem to have missed have missed.I never said she needs to come out in public only that she needs to come forth and straighten this thing out to help prevent it from happening to others in the future. No she does not owe you or me anything, but she by all means owes that young boy a lot more than a one way ticket ticket by himself to be picked up by what most likely was a stranger. He has been through enough, she admits he has problems, and what she did was just down right cruelty. By adopting him she took on the responsibility of a young child's life, What if everyone who has a troubled child were to just ship them off with one way tickets? She has an opportunity to possibly help other families in the future by speaking out to those who can use the information, one would think if she cared enough to help in the first place she would not want harm to come to any one who attempts this in the future. The only clear things are that she adopted him and shipped him back alone. Until she does the right thing and talks to those who are involved the rest is all just words and accusations, what is she avoiding and trying hide? I'm not saying she is an evil person or even abusive but the silence really does not help her case. My heart and prayers go out to all involved. Another question, she is said to have another child, will this child live with the fear Mommy will ship him/her off too? I did not say or imply she would do so only that the child may fear the possibility since it happened before.They are not always able to understand the full scope of events. The sooner she ties up the loose ends the better for all involved.

Here is the part you missed,

" We are all only human and all make mistakes, but she needs to come forward ( not necessarily in public) and clear up the questions so as not to ruin the chances of other children finding good adoptive homes in this country. By doing so she may be able to help prevent this from happening again to other children."

"We are all only human and all make mistakes, but she needs to come forward ( not necessarily in public) and clear up the questions so as not to ruin the chances of other children finding good adoptive homes in this country. By doing so she may be able to help prevent this from happening again to other children."

wonderwhy - I agree with this. I also agree that her other child might potentially be afraid this this could also happen to him.

Um, this situation doesn't stop anyone from adopting children here in America or in any other country except Russia. Please don't over dramatize this . . . if someone wants a child then they have plenty of options. Don't sit here and make it look like some sad doomsday situation because it is not.

There are children here in the United States who need loving homes and I have always believed that it is better to adopt children in their own home country so they can assimilate better to their surroundings and the culture. When you drag a child from a different country then you are creating more problems and issue to the ones that already exist when raising a child. Why create more barriers than what is needed?