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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Other peoples Dirt: AKA Cleaning your house

Posted Thursday, August 27, 2009, at 3:23 PM

I am a professional Home enviromental cleaning specialist. Fancy way of saying I scrub toilets for a living. Ha..

I have cleaned houses since I was 13 years old, seeing how I hated babysitting.

Everyone needs a obsessive compulsive person cleaning their home. It will be done right! I am Monk in a maids uniform.

I have learned alot over the years and I am very good at what I do.

If you want to hire a housekeeper let me give you some tips:

1. We cannot clean effectivly if you are a slob. If you leave your clothing all over the floor, food, and toys it will take up precious time we could be scrubbing light fixtures and such. Only if you have made a previous arrangement with the cleaner, and compensated them financially would I leave a home such a wreak. we're talking cleaning not shoveling garbage.. (I have seen these houses..)

2. We are not mind readers. If you do not want us cleaning a sacred spot like, hubby's desk let us know. Ditto goes for certain rooms.

3. Don't pile on more and more work and expect us to like the fact that we're being stretched thin, with no financial reimbursement.

WE feel used.

4. For God's Sake put away the sex toys...

That also goes for Pot, and porn..

5. Weapons: warn me if you have a loaded .38 under the mattress when I am cleaning. It is no fun if it gets dragged out and discharges..

6. Don't leave a weeks worth of dishes for me to clean, unless you have done #3. (financial reimbursement)

7. Be specific: What do you like done? What areas are just the ones you have to have sanitized? Some folks love a clean kitchen but could care less about other spots..Make use of our skills.

8. I am NOT a theif... come to me and ask if I have seen such and such..I might have, and people are airheaded.. you lose your keys at least twice a week admit it.

9. Pets: warn me if you have psycho dog. I have been cornered by a psycho chow and it is not amusing.....Also if your dog poops everywhere , remember financial reimbursement.

10. Yep: I am there when your kid is sick, and can step in to be nanny.... but don't take advantage of me.I clean houses not babysit!

Things to remember are: a housekeeper can tell alot about you by looking at your house and your car.

If I am meeting a potental client I look inside their car. If it is a pig sty, you can bet the house will be too.

It only takes a second to put that cup/wrapper in a trash bin.

We know what is important to you, do you have do-dads, or do you collect fine art?? Do you have a special oil you use on fine furniture?

We'll know if you are a compulsive shopper, or a alcoholic.

I have found money in very odd spots. Secure your money, I won't steal but someone else might, if I came across it easy.

Next time I blog I may tell you some amusing stories from the Cleaning Zone.

Always remember, your cleaning people are that, people and deserve to be treated with respect. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right cleaner. Oh and go look inside their car, If they are a slob, they won't clean your house good. Guarenteed.

Showing most recent comments first
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Great article, absolutely true!!



-- Posted by ex-navy on Sat, Nov 20, 2010, at 4:03 PM

This is a really interesting site, it is really interesting site all informations that a person requires. Thanks for this wonderful site..




-- Posted by david1000 on Fri, Nov 27, 2009, at 2:57 AM

picaboo...send em my way..lol. I've dealt with so many ppl, I believe I can handle them all. Just had a lady send me an email cussing me about an OLD dish towel she couldn't find....so I'll be looking for someone to replace her!!I don't take being cursed lightly, $40 isn't worth anyone thinking I need to work so badly they can say whatever they want to you!!

-- Posted by Freedomof Speech on Wed, Sep 2, 2009, at 11:18 AM

As a pest control operator I run into a lot of the same attitude among people with cockroach infestations. Sanitation is always step one! I've suffered being cornered by folks who were real angry "I NEVER HAD BUGS TILL YOU SPRAYED!"

Bunk! They just didn't realze cause people tend to disreguard their own messes. Your bug man isn't bringing pockets of bugs into your home.

-- Posted by big daddy rabbit on Tue, Sep 1, 2009, at 8:43 PM

yep.. i'll set em straight.

-- Posted by 4fabfelines on Tue, Sep 1, 2009, at 4:33 PM

4fabs, you have just listed almost every reason why i myself got out of the house-cleaning business. No one ever accused me of theif, but I had noticed all your references back to #3!!! More work, more time, more STRESS, same pay. And trying to do it on your days off... well, like I said - I got out of the business. Want some clients?

-- Posted by picaboo170 on Mon, Aug 31, 2009, at 12:50 PM

oh yeah freedom.. yep i feel ya.

-- Posted by 4fabfelines on Sun, Aug 30, 2009, at 8:46 PM

Here's another one for you. Don't ask me to wrap a ton of presents, and load them up...and then leave Me $3 on counter for Christmas!!!

-- Posted by Freedomof Speech on Sat, Aug 29, 2009, at 9:30 AM

My sweet wife has cleaned houses before and her stories could fill an entire stand up comedy routine. Always good for a laugh. There are times when I wonder what kinds of stories she tells when she cleans up after me!

-- Posted by Tim Lokey on Thu, Aug 27, 2009, at 9:15 PM

i have some DOOZIES!! Yep.

-- Posted by 4fabfelines on Thu, Aug 27, 2009, at 8:23 PM

Oddly, I told my husband the other day I wanted a cleaning lady/professional organizer to help me organize my craft studio. More likely, I will wait until my mom's next visit and make her help me.

Also, I have an aunt that used to clean houses - she had crazy stories. You must have some doozies as well.

-- Posted by cfrich on Thu, Aug 27, 2009, at 5:12 PM

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Clutter, Cats and Kids
Lesa Cox
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Lesa Cox has owned a cleaning service and a bookstore; now, she repairs and maintains computers for the elderly and others on a fixed income. She enjoys animals, gardening, books and fixing old cars. She and her husband have one son, who suffers from Asperger's syndrome.