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Foul language fouls outPosted Thursday, October 1, 2009, at 12:13 PM
John Carney blogged today about some recent story comments containing accusations.
He's right. But I've been concerned by another aspect. What's stood out to me is the amount of foul language, if not sheer hate, in many comments. Add those to the extremist political rhetoric, insinuations and distortions being spewed these days nationwide and it's obvious there are a lot of angry people these days. Some people obviously think that if they come across as intimidating and forceful, then the "other side" will cave in and agree with them. Not gonna happen, folks. Obscenity-laden retorts, hateful accusations and name-calling, and this has been going on for months from too many people, only make the writer look bad. Several of those read almost like a written transcript of a bar brawl, the same attitude as those who think they can physically pound someone into submission. What you're actually reading are written forms of abuse. Angry? Cool it. Channel and harness that anger and express yourself reasonably -- and you can make a real difference. Heated personal attacks usually result in exactly the opposite of the desired effect. Comments Showing comments in chronological order [Show most recent comments first] |
David Melson is a copy editor and staff writer for the Times-Gazette.
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I have a comment about all the unfriendly language we've been hearing.
(Unfortunately,I'm not allowed to say the words necessary to state my opinion.)
It takes a mature spirit to disagree without being disagreeable..
It takes a nimble mind to convey contempt in a way that that is colorful and inoffensive.
For the times that maturity and eloquence stay just out of reach,perhaps we could resort to emoticons.
One of these smilies might substitute for remarks that might otherwise cost us the respect of our neighbors or get us banned.
http://i285.photobucket.com/albums/ll43/...
http://www.getsmileyface.com/new/angry/1...
It's a lot easier to "live down" the use of Jot's evil twin than to take back words made toxic by hate and not-so-righteous anger.
I know this sounds like a Forrest Gump quote, but my Mamma used to say, "The louder you argue, the less your argument rings true".
Out of curiosity, are these foul comments coming from our neighbors or someone signing up from far away? One of the things I am proud of about folks in this area is their normal civility. You know, Southern Hospitality.
When I used to chatter a lot on the CB radio while traveling, I could tell quickly when I was out of the South. The language and conversation had a definite twist.
I agree with stevemills about the CB lingo when you get out of the south especially if you go north.
I think the problem of bad language and defamatory comments would be largely diminished if everybody had to post their Names instead of a "username". A lot of these noble individuals are very brave and outspoken when they are hiding behind a alias. It's actually kind of like shooting someone in the back. It's just not very polite.
I would bet (figure of speech, officer) that there is at least one person posting on here that seems to take everything personal and is VERY quick to retort with snotty (sometimes almost threatening) remarks that doesn't live in this area...not that I have anyone in particular in mind :)
"I think the problem of bad language and defamatory comments would be largely diminished if everybody had to post their Names instead of a "username". A lot of these noble individuals are very brave and outspoken when they are hiding behind a alias. It's actually kind of like shooting someone in the back. It's just not very polite."
-- Posted by MyMrMarty on Thu, Oct 1, 2009, at 5:00 PM
I agree, and I use my real name. I was very much in support of the requirement of "real name" usage for commenting until I began an online support group for those with FMS and other invisible illness. Now I am grateful for the anonymity, as many of my readers/commenters might otherwise be too afraid/ashamed/embarrased to share their private experiences on an open forum.
What ever happened to civility, good manners, respect, and the God-given sense of "right from wrong?" Why must the untamed "few" always ruin things for the rest of us...
Some people need to grow up a little and stop telling lies when the truth is inconvenient for them.
Oh,if we told the truth about one another,there'd REALLY be trouble!
It's been said that folks can get by with saying anything so long as they follow it with "Bless (his/her/its/their) heart(s)."
Unfortunately,when we try the "say anything" part,we tend to omit the part about having a care about the other person's well-being.
If anything,we ought to ask for folks to be blessed first and then see if they still need lambasting.
I've been the subject of malicious lies.
They reflected more negatively on the ones spreading the falsehoods than they did me.
Sometimes,I wonder why some folks feel the need to malign others with fabrications.
Then,I figure their situation had to be similar to my story.
1. They didn't know what was REALLY wrong with their victim.
2. They did know but the reality was too boring or tacky.
The people who know us seldom change their opinion for good or ill.
Those who don't know us may focus more on the story than the cast of characters anyway.
When facts or fables are fictionalized for books,t.v. or other media,the details will be altered again with the villains getting all the glamour and the heroes having the final triumph.
Some people need to grow up a little and stop telling lies when the truth is inconvenient for them.
-- Posted by nathan.evans on Thu, Oct 1, 2009, at 9:58 PM
I agree, Nathan, some people do need to grow up and stop telling lies when it's convenient.
Like during debates when people are called liars for stating facts, or people state their opinions as facts without anything to back these "facts". Good point, Nathan.
That goes both ways.......
Telling lies that you heard on Faux News is one thing, concealling your place of employment when directly challenged on it is another.
To be honest Thom and Nathan, you can both be brutal nasty to each other in a very negative way that really does nothing for civil debate. I thought me and darrick_04 had a bitter rivalry on here but we look very tame compared to you two. I guess I am more shocked by what Nathan says at times than what Thom says . . . sometimes Nathan words seem a bit more resentful and condescending but that is just my opinion. Either way, we all, including myself, need to step back and sometimes take a breath and not take things so personally and be more civil in our discussion even though sometimes you feel as though yelling and name calling with strike a deeper tone when in reality all it does is alienate us even more and creates an even bigger divide between the two sides.
I would also like to mention that the use of multiple accounts to allow for greater anonymity or to give the appearance that your argument is supported by multiple individuals of like mind is a reprehensible idea designed by the most cowardly and dishonest bunch among us. I for one have never once used any other account beyond my own. I stand beside the words I use, even when they are unbecoming and I should not. For those of you that think that it is not possible for me to know that you are using multiple accounts, you would be mistaken and I know who you are.
As the saying goes, "Empty pots make the most noise."
You right about people from up north they are worse, these comments here are mild compared to the ones in the newspaper where I'm from in Ohio.
I will very rarely ever comment because there is a couple of very liberal men who enjoy beating down anyone who disagrees with them and they can getting very rude. My username is Tennessee and of course using that they assume I'm uneducated and ignorant (by the way they think that about all southerns). I had to inform one gentleman that I was born and raised in the same county as him, but I had enough sense to get out.
Nathan - I've never concealed my place of employment. You directly asked me if I worked for a health insurance company and I said no. Mainly because I do not, in fact, work for an insurance company. If you happen to know where I work, then you should be able to figure out what my employer does. My opinions are NOT the opinion of my employer and my employer has no impact on my opinions. If that were the case then I would be a supporter of Bob Corker and I am not. My e-mail address is tnbwill@yahoo.com, you are more than welcome to e-mail me there if you have any questions that are personal in nature though. The blogs aren't really the place for that. Just as I shouldn't have asked you whether or not you received any form of government assistance on here.
Also, the "Faux News" is not something that I care to watch...actually, I don't watch any news regularly because I'm pretty much sick and tired of BOTH sides trying to swing the news in their favor. I would love to find a newscast that simply puts forth the news and no personal opinions on it...that's what these blogs are for. I also don't listen to the big name right-wingers that you've mentioned. I do listen to Phil Valentine though, simply because he's entertaining and seems to be more of a Libertarian than a Republican.
I do, however, agree with you that people using multiple accounts are reprehensible. That is the worst way to go about trying to get someone else to agree with your opinion, to fabricate that "someone". Personally, I think that anyone caught doing that should be banned from the blogs or comments. If you know of someone doing that you should bring it to John's attention so that he can address that individual about it.
Jaxspike is right though, we do seem to have a fairly decent sized disdain for each other's opinions for the most part and we are both pretty nasty about it at times. I will work on that. From this point forward I will try not to reply to your posts with anything personal in nature.
I'd just like to point out that some of the most profane posts I've ever seen on here came from someone who does use her real name.
Jaxspike is right though, we do seem to have a fairly decent sized disdain for each other's opinions for the most part and we are both pretty nasty about it at times. I will work on that. From this point forward I will try not to reply to your posts with anything personal in nature.
-- Posted by Thom on Fri, Oct 2, 2009, at 10:19 AM
I did not want to put you out there Thom, and I did not mention your place of employment only the type of industry it is specifically for that reason. I will also ratchet down my comments and be more civil going forward and I absolutely have nothing against you or your opinions. I apologize to those that I have offended including the comments that I make jokingly such as the friend comment I left for you the other day Jax.
"I do, however, agree with you that people using multiple accounts are reprehensible. That is the worst way to go about trying to get someone else to agree with your opinion, to fabricate that "someone". Personally, I think that anyone caught doing that should be banned from the blogs or comments. If you know of someone doing that you should bring it to John's attention so that he can address that individual about it."
I 100% agree.
Ok, I will confess . . . I am darrick_04 also.
LOL!
I am really surprised and dismayed sometimes at the rudeness of folks. I do not agree with everything some one says but there is no need to be ugly, if you cannot think out a intellegant answer then maybe your IQ is showin' or my dad used to say.
And I'm a tattooed body peirced goth too.. so you'd expect me to be the rude anarchist.
Is this the GROUP THERAPY for online writers narcicism? What is becoming of the arguement? Why does anyone take the opinion of their computer screen to the point of such anger? Really folks...learn to walk away
"I did not want to put you out there Thom, and I did not mention your place of employment only the type of industry it is specifically for that reason."
But the question that was posed was, do I work for a health insurance company. I do not. I work for a company that rectifies insurance claim discrepancies. I would like to know how you happen to know where I work. There is only one way that I can think of, ok two (one's name is David), that you could possibly know that.
My Dad had a small printed card under the glass top on his desk that read "Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind trying to express it's self forcefully." He believed if you had to resort to profanity to make your point or get attention, you had at that point already failed. I think Dad was right.
I believe that there are times when you, in order to get your point across, do have to use profanity. This ensures that the recipient of your tirade understands the extent of your angst. Of course, after serving in the Navy for eight years, I do tend to use it more often than I should. I do try to temper my language to the audience rather than a constant barrage of foul language.
chs61,
And as the English would say, I never trust an American that didn't cuss.
My personal favorite "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh" Jesus, Mt. 12:34
I tell my children that there are no foul words, only foul intentions achieving fruition through the use of certain words. I have to say though that I think most of the regulars are very civil, given the nature of some of the subjects encountered. I have never been treated unfairly on this forum, even though there are many who disagree with my thoughts.
Thom, I am trying to respect your opinion, but I honestly don't think you have to use profanity to get your point across. Just from my own personal view, I tend to respect that person less, therefore less likely to accept the point they are trying to get across. Maybe I'm a prude, but I am offended by it. I am much more likely to be won over to someone else's line of thinking if they are tactful.