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Just for you Evil MonkeyPosted Monday, June 2, 2008, at 5:04 PM
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A man getting to the roots of his faith.
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Veggietales... Loved your comment(s) in the other blog. I needn't say anymore.
My comment is posted here http://www.t-g.com/blogs/michaelbell/ent...
(about the Certificate-gate Scandal)
what is blogfarts.com?
Oh and please say more, it is funny, May I call you Leroy Jenkins?
So you really think I will be made a footstool for a preist? BUT you aren't ordained hehe. You are but a liar. So let me get this straight, sinners will be placed in Hell or will they be a footstool? This just doesn't make any sense.
You honestly believe this junk? You want people to bow to you and worship you eh? You really take this literal. Did you read the first part of the passages? ALL OF THEM were relating to King David and it was about the sacrificial rights of the old testament law.
Psalms 110-1
Matthew 22-44
Mark 12-36
Luke 20-43
Hebrews1-13
Hebrews 10-13
Need I say more?
Really michael? What a Christian thing to say about God. Where did you read this? The Bible? Dude you are the epitome of a Pharisee. Looks like my blog was correct eh?
That is O.K. Marvin if he uses the Bible for something as useless as a paperweight for I have read the God will use people like him as a footstool.
Evil Monkey,
I do not how they can fail or succeed. Just wanted to remind you that the Bible will always be there for you.
As far as the paperweight that is a side benifit for what mine is used for also. It is usually on top of the stack of papers I have to go through. I like to keep it where I can easily get to it when I can.
How can they fail? OH another change of the subject? He still lied. The Bible? Oh you mean my new paperweight?
blogfarts.com is where I am going to frequent.
-- Posted by Evil Monkey on Sat, Jun 7, 2008, at 6:46 PM
If and when they fail you, remember the Bible is still there for you.
Exactly, leChat!
blogfarts.com is where I am going to frequent.
If they don't want a new blog,we could squat in one of the underutilized ones.
(Sure,it might be off-topic but when has that affected discussion?)
It might help to quarantine those who are snarling and foaming at the mouth and let
others discuss ideas and not another's shortcomings.
I almost wish I hadn't read these postings. A man of God should not have to lie to be a man of God. If a person is asking to see the qualifications of someone saying he is an authority figure and that figure shows a fake certificate, then the Man of God is not who he says he is, Right? Why show fake certificates if your claim to fame is only that you are a christian? If you are claiming to be a pastor, don't you need a church? If you have no church, are you a pastor? Or don't you have to have a flock to minister to. Surely you would not claim this blog as this man's flock? He doesn't minister, he accuses, he doesn't preach truths, he preaches opinions. He quotes the bible but not in context. Who is this man, and why should anyone feel compelled to defend someone with so much hate, lies and deceit attached to him? Just curious. New to the blogs and feel compelled to find out why they are being read, listened to and defended by some when others question the validity of the statements. I am curious...very curious. Why does the Shelbyville Gazette allow this hatefilled rhetoric against certain groups to be spewed forth and nothing being said by the paper. Hmmmmm, wonder how easy it would be to get a blog filled with Christ's Love, compassion, and honor towards all men and women. Maybe we should question this to the editor>
Evil Monkey,
The answers are before your eyes just as the Savior was before the Pharisees.
I never have understood why they could not see Him just as I can not understand your inability to see the answers.
wow, your manic posting shows that you have no answer to the lies.
Evil monkey'
Not running off and leaving you but I have had an emergency call come in.
John and Bessie are fighting on the farm over the issue of their certificate. John says he is married without the certificate and Bessie says she has to have a certificate. John refuses to eat his cereal without milk and Bessie refuses to put cereal in her milk.
Gotta go. John called back and said come talk some sense into this heifer. She's talking in another tongue and he can not understand what she is demanding.
What has become such a stir over certificates?
And my what you call a confession, is a statement of fact due to the nature of Michael claiming to be a man of god<-- when in fact he is a deceiver.
Posted by Evil Monkey on Sat, Jun 7, 2008, at 3:23 AM
Still remaining on your posted topics:
It can only be considered as a fact by you for you.
What you consider a fact I consider a lie.
What I consider a fact you consider a lie.
You believe Jesus died and did not rise.
I believe Jesus was crucified and know he rose on the third day.
..
..
Michael's certicate you keep asking me about has nothing to do with the resurrection of Jesus.
The resurrection of Jesus has everything to do with Michael.
.
.
Your trained and educated mind has everything appearing backwards to you.
So where is the truthiness in your prophet.
Posted by Evil Monkey on Sat, Jun 7, 2008, at 3:23 AM
Still staying on your posted topic:
The truth I look for from him can only be considered as truth to me when it matches the Word of God in the Bible. You will never see his truthfulness if you belive the Bible is a sham. The fact that you do not see the truth in him supports the belief that has been in your heart all along about the Bible. You do not believe Michael, you do not believe the bible, you do not believe Jesus when he rose from the grave. You can not believe in one without the other because they all three say the same thing.
Posted by Evil Monkey on Sat, Jun 7, 2008, at 3:23 AM
again, you change the topic. The topic is, You and Michael lied, deceived. You are clamouring to save face because you are caught, you admitted to deceiving someone on this blog. Michael admittedly got a fake certificate because he felt it would be illegal to not have some sort of proof he could teach others.
Evil Monkey,
Sorry if you feel I changed the subject from your obsession. Let's go over it again for you. You still need some more don't you? I saw you obsession about to allow you to fall off in a pit again. Forgive me for having simple foresight and being able to see what probably would happen when you keep trying to stop the spread of the Gospel. It was just a simple observation of predictable events. It did not require a lot of formal education to predict probable human reactions and behavior.
Nobody has deceived you other than youself and that is a deception in itself.
again, you change the topic. The topic is, You and Michael lied, deceived. You are clamouring to save face because you are caught, you admitted to deceiving someone on this blog. Michael admittedly got a fake certificate because he felt it would be illegal to not have some sort of proof he could teach others.
Now, he has lied about much more as Richard has pointed out. So where is the truthiness in your prophet. How is anyone to believe anything that comes out of any christian's mouth, with that sort of person around? And all you guys can come up with is More lies, more excuses, and twist things around each and every time.
And my what you call a confession, is a statement of fact due to the nature of Michael claiming to be a man of god<-- when in fact he is a deceiver.
"What subject of which I was talking to you has changed?"
And when do you NOT change the subject is a better question since you cannot answer a simple question. You always seem to answer a question with a question about a question. I can tell you are a follower of Donald Rumsfeld.
Evil Monkey,
What subject of which I was talking to you has changed?
You may however feel free to answer the questions to nascarfanatic if you wish. The same questions would actually apply to you with the exception of "Paul the Fraud". Replace it with "everyone in the Bible" and take off with it to help explain your erroneous confession.
Why are you changing the subject again?! The tactic is old and its a form of deceit.
nascarfanatic,
Why are you so bitter toward the Word of God and people like Paul the Apostle and Michael the Pastor who try to propel it?
How is it interfering with your goals and why do you wish to ground it?
What would you gain if you could be successful in your attempt to stop the spread of it?
quantumcat,
You probably are right again about the first half of your statement.
Maybe he's too busy studying to come out and play.
That, again, is changing the subject. Pathetic. The only miracle I see occurring is that there are more people with sanity who counter yours and Michael's rhetoric on daily basis....
Thank god religious nut jobs are no longer the norm.
Btw, WHERE'S MICHAEL? He seems to always disappear when his "better half" takes over for him. How sweet...
Evil Monkey,
As long as you believe Jesus is dead and has not risen and the Bible is a sham all is in vain. But we will continue. I still believe miracles can occur.
Lies, Again, changing the subject, surprised? It is the Christian way.
nascarfanatic,
No, only the beginning of a new time.
You know the way back up the hill.
Because apparently you are reading someone else's questions and not his. QUIT CHANGING THE SUBJECT. Michael lied, he hasn't asked for forgiveness, THE END.
Evil Monkey,
Sorry that you miss it but I can not help you see the light.
You are looking for your answer instead of the answer.
But wait nascarfanatic, I can not do that. I have to sugarcoat discipline also today in order to comply with the new wave of acceptable behavior admonishments.
Should I not just give him a little time out and spare the rod to his back.
You know it is wrong to show any anger or wrath toward any wrong do you not? Have you not heard. Even God can not have wrath or anger today toward sin. Where have you been?
And you have the nerve to ask me to spank someone.
Never, this new wave of behavioral punishments is working so well. Just look at how little problems we have today with children. They are almost bordering on being little Jesus's themselves.
What does this have ANYTHING to do with it? Basically you are changing the subject into something else. It doesn't seem you let up if someone doesn't agree with you, so should we spare the rod? I am just fine, I do not smoke, but I do know the difference between a bait and switch and smoke and mirrors.
parkerbrothers,
AGAIN you twisting it around, Michael LIED, not nascarfanatic. Yet you bring something up that has NOTHING to do with what Nascar implied. Nice try.
-- Posted by Evil Monkey on Thu, Jun 5, 2008, at 1:47 PM
Monkey,
Are you having a hard time reading today?
It had everything to do with what Nascar said.
I asked him what Michael had lied about?
Not what nascar had lied about.
You are smoking the banana peels aren't you? (laugh and loosen up)
I don't think the worry is over denying kids the rod of discipline.
(You know,"Thy rod and thy staff,they comfort me.")
It's the kids' insistence that all punishment be given while wearing black leather - or latex if you're animal-friendly.
Heaven only know what they think "self-discipline" involves.
A rod used to be understood as a tool to guide.
Then it became a synonym for gun.
Discipline used to refer to control over a person's character.
Later,it was defined as punishment.
I've never quite approved of the world's addiction to inflicting pain and demoralization as a means of shaping behavior.
A friend of mine was arrested for some very scary crimes:healing the sick,
raising the dead,feeding a multitude without a catering permit...
It was decided He should be put to death for His offenses.
This was supposed to end His troublemaking and have a chilling effect on any copycats.
Some deterrent.
Three days later,He was back on the streets,doing His messianic thing as though He were God Almighty.
Not only that,His gang was out doing the same things He was arrested for and recruiting more members.
Executions and imprisonment wasn't very effective at stifling them.
Imagine if they'd gotten community service instead.
parkerbrothers,
AGAIN you twisting it around, Michael LIED, not nascarfanatic. Yet you bring something up that has NOTHING to do with what Nascar implied. Nice try.
So, before you try to be my daddy you should probably spank (wouldn't surprise me) your other son for lying to everyone.
-- Posted by nascarfanatic on Thu, Jun 5, 2008, at 12:29 AM
nascarfanatic,
What is the lie of which I should spank for?
But wait nascarfanatic, I can not do that. I have to sugarcoat discipline also today in order to comply with the new wave of acceptable behavior admonishments.
Should I not just give him a little time out and spare the rod to his back.
You know it is wrong to show any anger or wrath toward any wrong do you not? Have you not heard. Even God can not have wrath or anger today toward sin. Where have you been?
And you have the nerve to ask me to spank someone.
Never, this new wave of behavioral punishments is working so well. Just look at how little problems we have today with children. They are almost bordering on being little Jesus's themselves.
Keeping one eye on God at all times and one eye on wherever He directs our vision might work out a bit better.
Posted by quantumcat on Thu, Jun 5, 2008, at 8:53 AM
I think we said the same thing.
We are to test the spirits and the eyes can be a function of the tester.
I sometimes wonder if cross eyed people are not just simply over obedient children of God.
Your ancestor (if it's the one I think you mean) bought two of the dang dumbest lies ever sold and,ironically enough,they are still being purchased by the truckload today.
-- Posted by quantumcat on Thu, Jun 5, 2008, at 8:53 AM
Yes, you know my granny of grannies.(grin)
I still love her though. I inherited a lot of my traits from her. She also taught me how to overcome of which I am thankful.
What makes you such a professional to know whether or not someone is on the straight and narrow?
Posted by Evil Monkey on Thu, Jun 5, 2008, at 1:32 AM
Evil monkey,
It does not take a professional.
Jesus is the straight and narrow.
Just look at where their eyes are focused?
PB,
Your ancestor (if it's the one I think you mean) bought two of the dang dumbest lies ever sold and,ironically enough,they are still being purchased by the truckload today.
Falsehood #1: "God doesn't want you to be wise and powerful."
Falsehood #2: "Eat what we tell you to eat (drive what we say,wear what we say,think what we tell you to think,yadda yadda) and you'll be better off than if you listen to God and your own good sense.
After all,we know better than you,we have your best interests at heart and we have NO hidden agenda."
If all we do is watch trees to see if what comes from them is a poisonous serpent or an angelic Monkey ( ;> ),then we miss out on a lot of what else is on view.
Keeping one eye on God at all times and one eye on wherever He directs our vision might work out a bit better.
We don't want to be the kind of people who can't see the forest for the trees.
parkerbrothers,
What makes you such a professional to know whether or not someone is on the straight and narrow? Does that person have to bow down and worship the ground that Michael Bell waddles on? Or does he need to just back off? Are you using intimidation tactics? Do you think what you say is clever? Really, answer these questions for yourself.
That "straight and narrow path" you speak of doesn't include lying... B/c then, when that happens fools come out of the woodworks to ignore the lie that was told and make the issue irrelevant. So, before you try to be my daddy you should probably spank (wouldn't surprise me) your other son for lying to everyone.
nascarfanatic,
I will let you know when I am.
But to give you a heads up I probably will not be for some time as long as you continue to walk as you do.
You see, until you get on the straight and narrow path I can not help but talk to you in the circle you walk in.
Are you done talking in circles ???
God knows my heart
Posted by nascarfanatic on Tue, Jun 3, 2008, at 11:11 PM
Yes He does and He knows how you feel about a man that devoted his life to Him. You remember "Paul the Fraud" you also defamated?
nascarfanatic,
I bet your are like the blind man that could sit on a box of ice cream and tell me what flavor it was.
If I was you I would be asking for a refund on that GPS that ran you aground on the shoals. Or maybe you were too obsessed with Michael and his teaching to pay attention to your preprogrammed GPS. He sure does get the Nacscar's attention. Does he ever have yours!
LOL... I don't need an online accreditation course to fulfill your human needs my friend. God knows my heart, and he didn't design a website in California for me to confirm it.. But the key difference is. I don't call myself 'PASTOR NASCAR' and I don't come on here spouting off fear and hate, then ending every remark with Be Blessed! I don't need any kind of human intervention to steer me in any direction... I come with preprogrammed GPS.
nascarfanatic,
You ought to spend a little time on the Cathedral University on-line study material. Quite well organized and informative.
It might be just the tune up you need. You might even get rid of that backfire you always seem to experience when your intake manifold opens.
Lies, Lies, Lies...
nascarfanatic,
You do not know what you mean do you? You just remember your mother looking at you and saying Ooops.
(grin)I know she did not mean to drop you on the concrete floor. (grin again)
Loosen up nascarfanatic, you are too tight in the turns and the rpms are out of control. You are liable to spin a bearing if you are not careful. (grin)
It was great.... Lies, lies, and more lies, it's no wonder Michael and PB are Hitler supporters... Oops, I mean Bush.
Isn't that video a classic? Sad thing is, it makes sense if you really listen to it. The problem is, it was more lies.
EM, you didn't know it was ok to lie so long as it is to prove you're ordained?
Of course it's permissible to lie but you should never love someone of the same sex. We all know Jesus would choose lies over love.
And ROFL at that Donald Rumsfield video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RpSv3Hjp...
Reminds me of this ...
He still lied and decieved, You saw it coming? ROFL you are absolutely full of face saving mediocre tactics. Puuleaasee. He was trying to prove is he can't lie well. No matter what you or him try to pull, it is still a lie. It is worst than murder, rape and homosexuality.
Evil Monkey,
All I can say is you got what you asked for and did not have to go door to door in pursuit of it as you were willing to do. Yes, I saw that banana when it got thrown out.(rolls eyes also)&(grin)
Guess what? I did not have to have a degree or certificate to see it coming.
But I can get you one if it would cause you to believe.
Never put trust in a certificate. I see idiots all the time and they have none posted on the walls.
whatever parkerbrothers, so michael has to use deciet and lies to prove a point? Didn't satan do the same thing? Damn aren't you so clever to show the errors of my ways. LOL whatever. I really fell for that one (rolls eyes).
rebelrose,
My great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,great,
grandmother tried to see the best in everyone also. She never understood why we were given two eyes. One to see the good in everyone and one to see the evil in everyone. She should have kept one eye on each tree if she knew not the correct tree.
You know what? I am going to do this as Evil Monkey. Then I will be known as Pastor Evil Monkey and I will demand to be called that too.
-- Posted by Evil Monkey on Tue, Jun 3, 2008, at 1:32 AM
Did God call you? Look at the tree closely before you eat of the fruit.
Evil monkey...NO I do not think at all that you are tring to hurt anyone..I always see the good in everyone...We have a right to speak free in this country...And it is ok to speak how you feel...
I just questioned Michael's motives, and he believes that he can be ordained, and teach people religion without the proper training and schooling.
Posted by Evil Monkey on Tue, Jun 3, 2008, at 12:09 PM
Evil Monkey,
Think it through. You just helped Michael prove who gives the proper training and schooling. I think he set you up for the fall on that one and you took it, peeling and all.
The Holy Spirit and Call of God comes with no known certificate. Sorry, you have missed the context of the Gospel.
So, in other words Michael is a LIAR.... OMG, we FINALLY see the real side of this supposed "Christian" man (a side which we ALL knew existed). What a pathetic attempt at coming across as qualified when you are in no way qualified...
Absolutely laughable...
-- Posted by nascarfanatic on Tue, Jun 3, 2008, at 9:40 AM
nascarfanatic,
The laugh is on you. He has just proved the value of a certificate or degree of which you probably have a few. Now that is funny.
Michael has more certificates than John the Baptist and you would not believe either. Now that is sad.
rebelrose,
I really hope you don't feel I am trying to hurt someone on purpose but he was calling me out trying to prove he was ordained. The simple fact is, I guess I am now too. I have no problem helping others, I do good things, I just don't believe in hate and fear as a way to eternal life. When people place an emphasis of fear and hate on a particular class of people relentlessly; it is because they are scared that they might become one of them.
I just questioned Michael's motives, and he believes that he can be ordained, and teach people religion without the proper training and schooling. I find it wrong and I don't think others would want to be taught purely on someone's current emotional state. Look at Hagee and the other wackos that have been getting news coverage. All of them have emotional issues that need a ton of psychological analysis to figure out how they dream of their hateful messages, all of them politically motivated too. I really don't see how Jesus plays a part in that type of preaching. Remember Michael looks up to these people, Why is that? Maybe because they are on TV? Don't know, he never answers my questions, I have to assume everything now.
So, in other words Michael is a LIAR.... OMG, we FINALLY see the real side of this supposed "Christian" man (a side which we ALL knew existed). What a pathetic attempt at coming across as qualified when you are in no way qualified...
Absolutely laughable...
Oh my goodness...I never knew...I am really living in the old school days...I am so shocked....When reading some of these sites they make me think of a cult...I am sticking to what my Mom and Dad taught me...I know they taught me the real thing...love one another....and always help people that need help...and God loves everyone..Do not judge a book by it's cover...Being kind to everyone will always come back home to you....God made us all different for a reason...Evil Monkey it sounds like you have a little devil in you..lol...that is okay...my Dad use to tell me (when mom was not around..cause she does not like bad words) that my eyes were brown cause I was full of ----. LOL
wow thanks Richard. LOL
Pastor Evil Monkey, nice ring to it eh.
Here you go
http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/5953/...
http://www.cathedraluniversity.com/pasto...
They send these certificates out free to anyone who requests them, using this form
You know what? I am going to do this as Evil Monkey. Then I will be known as Pastor Evil Monkey and I will demand to be called that too.
http://www.cathedraluniversity.com/
Why come some of these online trainings never leave a real address and phone number to contact. They want your information so they can get in contact with you, not you get in contact with them, and not by phone, but through email. And then you have to request they send you a certificate.
http://tcolw.tripod.com/churchoflivingwa...
Atleast this one gives a reason why No phone, or Address is given for contact.
Read this about marriage ceremony.
http://www.areyoureallymarried.com/legal...
Tn. State Attorney Generals Opinion you must be Ordained by Church Body.
They also say that anyone can get these mail-in Ordained certificates, even Jailmates, or deceased people. No background checks are made, and the company that gives these certificates never even meet the people applying for them.
Do what you want to do, (Which you Did); But wouldn't it be better if a person wanting to be an Ordained, Licensed minister, went to the church denomination of his choice, studied, and became ordained through that church body. You can not trust websites with no permanent address, phone contact number, claiming to be something. Any one can put up a website posting the same things these two websites did, claiming the same things, and people fall for stuff like that. You pay $25.00 - $45.00 for a made up certificate, and they are making money off of this. Your lessons, and other materials you download, and print on your on paper.
People have to be careful with things like this. Don't stop your ministry if you feel you have a calling, but do things the right way, with proper guidance from a "Real, In-Person, Ordained Minister with a Congregation".
why bother?