Maybe,you were left with this child so there'd be ,at least,one positive contribution this Robbie made to this world.

The child you created together could experience unselfish and unconditional love from one parent and conclude that he'd want to become the kind of man a good woman could respect and sons and daughters could look up to.

But,even the children whose parents are too empty inside to have anything to give their offspring (You can't give what you don't have) can do well just by deciding they want more for themselves.

They avoid the mistakes they see others make and decide to become self-sufficient and responsible as soon as possible.

They make a point to like the person they see in the mirror and to find beauty in their world.

They choose to reach out to people and give them love even when those folks aren't very likeable.

They've learned that there is always hope and that a person can make a mistake without being a mistake.

A parent who walks out on his or her child without another thought loses out on observing and participating in who that child becomes.

Whatever bond they might form in the future would not change the time they never had together.

The people who are there to nurture,support and guide children will be in their lives and hearts forever.

See where Robbie,Jr. is in three years or thirty and,perhaps,his life will reflect the amount of care taken to affirm him as a gift from God and not a "waste of life."

michaelbell,

I friend of mine was going through a divorce one time of which he did not want and was having a hard time accepting it. His attorney asked him if he knew the main difference between a marriage and a divorce of which he knew not how to reply. The attorney told him it takes two willing to get married and say "I do" and only one willing to say "I don't" to get a divorce.

I do think it is too easy to both get married and divorced today. What if the same principle applied to marriage as it does to the divorce and only one willing to say "I do" could be granted marriage to another? Better yet what if both had to agree to be divorced before one was granted?

Some sweethearts might be better off if they had a chaste "trial marriage" where they had to deal with one another's quirks (and friends and relatives,etc.) without the sugar-coating of hormones and ettiquette that comes from dating.

Posted by quantumcat on Wed, Jul 9, 2008, at 4:21 AM

quantumcat,

That is actually an excellent idea. Let them cohabitate under the same roof for 6 months with a supervised counseler and give them a dose of the real world. If they survive the first 3 months let them borrow 2 small children from relatives and finish the last half with young children under the same roof. I believe that would cut the divorce rate down to nearly zero. Probably though because few would follow through with marriage in the first place under those conditions. The ones that would marry after finishing the 6 month coarse were truly meant for one another.

I believe you are right. A 6 month intensive counselling coarse should be a minimum for us.

quantumcat,

A couple who survived that would pretty well be equipped to move forward and probably stay together.

Nebula

The way the world is today, I agree with you. It is a sin to live outside of marriage, but then, so is everything else.

If your get married and your husband turns out to be a wife beater or child molester, it is too late. The church nor the courts will be able to protect you. You will be beaten until your dead or your child will pay the price, not to mention that your marriage is a failure. You have to be humiliated in front of everyone and most women who marry their husband continue to live on thru all the beatings and molestations until a life is taken. Some women take it for as long as they can and strike back in self defense and kill the husband. Then they go to prison for life. That is so unfair.

As you can see there is no christian answer in all that, so I agree with you. Live with him, if he's the right man, get married then confess your sins. If you die before you confess your sins, you will have to live with the chance of going to hell.

If the man won't marry you, he had no intentions of marrying you.

I would say that the abuser has broken the covenant of marriage. Many folks love quoting Ephesians where it states that "wives be subject to your husband". This is just one verse out of several on marriage. Paul spends the next 11 verses speaking on the responsibility of the husband least of which is that "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her." I may have the wrong take on this, but personally I think the wife has the easy part of this all we have to do is obey, the husband has to be willing to die for his wife, a mighty big responsibility.

Eh, Christian advice.

My whole family only believes in Wicca...and Morgan Freeman, but that's a different story.

So I looked at the Book of Shadows, and it says everything is awwwwwright.

Thanks for comparing my religion to an article in a magazine.

It's ok. I forgive you. I love Cosmopolitan as well.

Correction"

Your last post though seems to imply (you) might be comparing your religion to a magazine.