When I was young, I was forced by my parents and society to wear dresses and can-can slips, tights, and patent shoes to school, and on Sundays, gloves and a hat!!!!

Did it improve my attitude? No Way. When I was allowed to dress down and make choices on my own, my attitude improved tremendously. I continued to make good grades and was respectful and considerate. My 'attire' had nothing to do with who I was. My parents raised me to be that way and I resent anyone who insinuates that I have not raised my kids properly because I do not make them wear collared shirts or Khakis to school. They are also good students and are respectful and considerate.

The Board needs to listen to the parents of those kids and let them provide input into how the attitudes of the other kids/parents can be changed. Unfortunately, there is a lack of respect for education by society in general.

I also do not believe that having perfect grammar makes a person perfect, nor will it or SSA make students clean up after themselves or improve their work-study skills. As for grading, I believe that should be addressed to the teacher who is allowing the work to which you referred.

(P.S. I may not have a Ph.D., but I do have an M.A.)

Navid,

I totally respect your opinion and ideas and I agree it is with the attitude. But I don't think a standardized attire is the solution. It will cause alot of problems, the largest problem is the lack to enforce policy that currently exists. If you notice my words "lack to enforce"; I mean exactly that.

For example:

Little Suzy goes to her teacher, Ms. Smith's local church, Little Suzy isn't wearing the correct color shirt. Little Bobby doesn't have his shirt tucked in but he is wearing all the correct color clothing. He is sent to the office and is punished, yet Little Suzie is fine and dandy and allowed to continue her education.

If you don't think this happens, you are sadly mistaken. There is no way for parents to prevent this from happening unless we don't allow these ridiculous policies to be passed without our knowledge. This is total contradiction to NCLB, that is a federal law.

I'd like to see more "natural consequences" education started as early as possible.

Start kids observing then doing activities that demonstrate certain skills and attitudes.

Let them see some immediate results of these actions as well as long term consequences.

Gardening and cooking are good examples as they show how following the right procedures produces a good outcome.

Pets are not a good choice for beginners because the animal suffers if mistreated or neglected and the wrong lessons are picked up if others take up all the slack for the child.

Point out (in a discreet fashion) when a mistake is seen or when someone does something exceptionally well.

"How do you know this person on television is the boss?"

"He tends to things that need doing and people listen to him."

"How do you know that other person isn't the hero?"

"He's dirty and he talks ugly to people."

It's not necessary to beat them over the head with these lessons but make a note when milk gets left out on the counter,a book is lost or a garment is torn.

Subtract that from what's budgeted for fun things.

When the child makes something instead of buying it,finds a bargain or reduces expences in another way,add that savings to the budget.

Children learn best by seeing the validity of certain actions rather than just hearing about it.

They'll notice what's wrong when someone hits,steals or lies.

They'll grimace over a note that's too ungrammatical,badly spelled or haphazardly scrawled to read.

They'll be aware of how efficiency and consideration make life run smoother.

There are many things they should take our word for rather than learn the hard way but if we model correct behavior all we can and give them plenty of opportunities to learn and apply the right strategies,they'll absorb much of the necessary life lessons for themselves and learn how to build upon the foundation we give them to think and act appropriately on their own.

Anything less is evidence that we don't respect our youth enough to think them capable of mastering these skills.

Those who are truly incapable need our support to make up for their deficits.

Everyone else should be expected to apply basic life skills and the etiquette needed to get along with other people.

This will not create a priggish or robotic society.

It will be liberating and life-affirming.

In this sense,no child should be left behind nor should any be hobbled lest they race ahead of the group.

We aren't trying to see who crosses the finish line the fastest.

We're trying to see who can cover the most ground during their lifetime.

Very good points!

You can't pass on what you don't have.

Let's help parents give their children skills and values as well as physical necessities.

It would be great if the process started before school started (before birth? before conception?).

No,it is not the teacher,cleric or doctor's job to see that all boys and girls get what they need but one privilege granted to a community is helping create the kind of people one wants to be one's neighbors.

Most people would raise their kids correctly if they had the means and know-how.

The rest need to be set aside as soon and as thoroughly as possible so the children don't suffer from their shortcomings.

Otherwise,we perpetuate a system without standards and no desire or competencies to make things better.

We can spend a little time,money and effort to grow functional human beings or we can pay a LOT to have a society of losers.

If we won't help people out of love,let's do it out of self-interest.

Thank you for your kind comments,

nmonajjem.

There are a lot of caring and insightful people on these blogs and in our community.

I've seen many (if not enough) people go the extra mile to nurture and guide others.

Who couldn't benefit from such support?

They may not make the headlines but those who help (even if it's just by the example they set) are the real heroes.

I hope we all make an effort to do as much for those who would fulfill their potential for good if given half a chance.

There is another underlying reason for this entire reason for SSA, the board just won't tell us. Someone is going to #1 make alot of money off it, or #2 they are trying to keep us busy worry about the SSA because there is something else they are trying to slip in under the radar.

I find this blog personally insulting myself! Blame it on the parents, they (the kids) are not getting what they need at home! Thats bull for the most part... We can only do so much. If we want to give our kids a good (not great) life we all have to work. Most parents (both) have to work. I myself make pretty good money, but I work for the insurance more than I work for the money I make. My stepson was in the hospital for 7 days and had surgery it did not cost one dime out of pocket other than a follow up afterward, $25.00 copay. If the Dr.s dont get their money they will turn it over to collections in a heartbeat. They dont care if you have the money or not, dont care how many kids you have, and dont care if you loose everything you are trying to work for to get it! The people that have jobs are the ones they go after, not the ones on TNCARE or that have NO insurance at all (cant get it from them). Then to sit back and blame all parents and put everyone of us in the same group is a major, major insult to me. Not one of us here can sit back and cast the first stone that just might not come back around and bust us in the mouth! I wont put down any parent because I dont ever know what one of mine might do before its all said and done! Is it because I dont care? NO, I DO care but we can only teach them what we want them to know and how they should be. We can not MAKE them do anything!

AFTERTHOUGHT: My oldest turned 22 yesterday. She still calls me if shes going to be late! She still ask for my opinion! She still gets mad at me no doubt, but (still) turns to me no matter whats going on in her life! At 22 I know without a boubt she does not have to do that. She does it because I am not only her mom but her best friend and she is mine! I think that all boils down to respect!!!

I was not trying to insult your profession (I guess it does come across that way) just clearly making my point that most families don't have the option to have a stay at home parent to keep an eye on every move their kids make. My reason is in fact because of health insurance.

I would just like to express my 2cents about this uniform tragedy. When I was in middle school, years ago, we were still only allowed to wear dresses. I don't remember how it all came about but I know my mom had something to do with it. Probably, because she was tired of making dresses for 2 tomboys to wear to school. But, anyway the agreement was made that Pant Suits would be allowed. The tops had to cover the pants. In other words your butt had to be covered. We were very happy with the change at the time. Now, look at how far it has gone. Anything goes. I no longer have children in school, but, I see how they dress. I think Mr.West said it all in his Comments to the Editor a couple of weeks ago. If you would have bought your kids some clothes that fit instead of letting them show their underwear this would have never have had to happen.