Parenting

A new, flowing spirit -- and a new life (01/15/12)
Parents of otherwise well-behaved 15-year-old boys know this to be true: At home, sometimes they can be real stinkeroos. Such was the case the morning I was getting him ready for a New Year's Eve trip with his church youth group to Winter Ramp in Dalton, Ga. The process of getting him showered, dressed, packed and out the door was stressful and loud. By the time he boarded the bus to leave, my blood pressure had spiked and I prayed under my breath, "Lord, help him."...

Kids' diets aren't our big crisis (05/29/11)
The latest action on the food Nazi front -- there's a price on poor old Ronald McDonald's head. Apparently, the goofy guy with the big feet is the sole person to blame for our country's obesity crisis. It seems he, personally, is the one forcing these children to eat these unhealthy Happy Meals, which, according to the Nutrition Nazis, shouldn't legally be called Happy Meals, but Potential Heart Attack 40 years Down the Road meals...

Hats off to Mothers! (05/08/11)
I have a book of poems, published in 1917, that my mother gave me years ago. It is poems written by her favorite poet, Edgar A. Guest. This book has been a treasure of mine, and I have quoted some of Guest's poems in a number of my sermons over the years...

The Etch-A-Sketch of behavior (03/30/11)
I've decided that the auto mechanic classes they teach at schools should be mandatory. With remedial classes for my kids. I've been told for umpteen years how "gifted" my children are, and I'm still waiting for the proof. Sure, Ben can recite reams of Shakespeare, but it took a wet Saturday night to realize you can't go offroading in a minivan...

Son and Shakespeare would have gotten along famously (03/16/11)
My middle son, Ben, was born too late. Not as far as I was concerned -- in fact, the little stinker could have shown up two weeks earlier and made me, my back, and my bladder a lot happier. But he was born in the wrong time period. He's letting his hair grow out again, after cutting off more than a foot of it less than nine months ago to donate to Locks of Love. ...

Teaching kids manners is first step to success in life (02/09/11)
I've never claimed to be the greatest mom in the world -- I'm sure the woman who has earned that honor doesn't earn a paycheck for making fun of her kids twice a week. But I think I've done a pretty fair job. Then there are times I feel like a total failure. I don't get my kids to church nearly often enough -- they can quote more lines from Mel Brooks movies than Old Testament lessons, I'm afraid...

Deeply thinking, not deeply sleeping (02/06/11)
Ever wonder why we have our most profound thoughts smack in the middle of the night? Why is it easier to plan out the weekly meals, analyze our mate's psychological profile, and figure out why our third cousin twice removed made that snappy remark to us two years ago at our other third cousin's wedding -- all at 3:27 a.m.?...

Who's in charge here, kids or grownups? (01/26/11)
Who's in charge at your house? If you can believe Madison Avenue, your kids are. You have to buy the spiffy SUV because your curly-haired 6-year-old is too embarrassed to be seen in a station wagon. You have to buy diet supplements because your whiny 7-year-old won't eat eggs or broccoli or grain or anything remotely resembling healthy food...

Parenting can be hard -- no lie (01/23/11)
We really never know what kind of reaction we're going to get to our personal columns around here. Sometimes, we might aim for one reaction, and get something totally different. A few weeks ago, Column Queen Mary Reeves, my co-worker, wrote something that was hilarious. But one person didn't quite get the humor and actually called here to chew us out...

'Mama' is actually... daddy??? (01/16/11)
When we got hammered with snow last weekend, I bet I wasn't the only working mom who jumped for joy alongside all the youngsters about the chance to play hooky. For working moms, a snow day is a free day, a day with nothing on the agenda but "make up for time lost throughout the work week."...

WDHDTT mom sees bright side (01/16/11)
I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is being objective about your own children. (With American Idol looming around the corner, this becomes painfully obvious.) I worked in the school system for many years before my own kids were subjected to it, and I was determined I would not be one of the NMK parents I had to deal with on a daily basis...

Finally, a family: Two little miracles transform couple's life (12/26/10)
Sounds of Elmo and Thomas The Train rang through the Dunn household this Christmas. It hasn't always been that way. "We had been married for 13 years and had come to the conclusion that we just weren't going to be able to have kids," said Kim Dunn, who helps run her family business at Redd's Heating & Cooling. "John and I both have a niece on each side of the family and so that's what we would do on Christmas ... spoil them."...

A year passes, and I want to share the best of it with family (12/22/10)
I actually got a phone call from my oldest son last week -- and he didn't want anything. He didn't want money or tax forms or insurance cards or phone numbers or advice or anything. In fact, he didn't even want to call me. The first unsolicited phone call I've had from him in years, and it was a butt-dial...

Tears or not, wheels are finally rolling (11/14/10)
I made my son cry. Of course, he said he didn't, but I've seen tears well up in those big brown eyes before (like the time when he was 5 years old I had to tell him the triceratops he patted at Islands of Adventures theme park wasn't real) and I knew the signs...

Halloween costume plans revolve around Zombie Mario (10/27/10)
The leaves are crunchy, the mornings are cool and Buzz is in a tizzy. It must be Halloween. Every year he starts planning his costume the day after Halloween, and every year, he makes elaborate plans on how to create it. Then, as soon as I've bought what is needed and sketched out plans, he changes his mind...

Triple treat: three daughters-in-law, three babies, two weeks (10/24/10)
About eight months ago, Jeff Yoes received the gift that keeps on giving. Though tangled as the web it weaves, the Yoes story began on Valentine's Day when Jeff, former Community Elementary principal, father of three sons, and doting grandfather of two accepted a strange package from his son Rodney and his wife Candace...

Another miracle: Mom and babies build new family (10/24/10)
A few weeks ago, I decided I wanted to track down a few subjects whom I've written about over the last few years. I have always felt like I need to do a better job following up with folks. Writing a story about someone who's going through a hard time or perhaps has defeated the odds and then simply moving on and never looking back isn't good enough for me. ...

Amazing new world of technology can't erase some old ways (10/17/10)
I had to teach my son how to clean chalkboard erasers the other day. We were participating in a fun, informal darts tournament (which we won, thank you very much!) and at one point, Ben had to wipe the scores off the board so we could start the next round. He looked at the dust-clogged implements of erasure, then he looked at me. He looked at the erasers. At me...

One small dance, one giant leap toward adulthood (10/10/10)
"Should I go to the school dance?" It took a few minutes for the question to register for several reasons, the first and foremost being that I was trying to pay bills online, brush a snarl out of the dog's coat, and answer the telephone at the same time...

Three boys, a lifetime of stories (10/06/10)
I'm having so much fun listening to my co-worker Sadie Fowler as she details her life as a new mom. It's like getting to live it all over again -- without having to pay for the diapers. She'll ask me questions about this or that and I'll try to sift through the memories to see if I can find an answer...

Role models make lasting impacts in children's lives (09/12/10)
Each day, my very special aunt Jane sends out a little note of encouragement to me, and about 12 others in my extended family. It's been a tough couple of years for my family, with both of my grandparents dying, followed by the premature death of my father (their son) and my uncle, who also fiercely battled lung cancer...

How to stay calm when child care is overwhelming (09/05/10)
My role as a stay-at-home mom lasted 7 months, and I applaud you moms who can survive this job at any length of time. We all love our babies, but this career choice (and don't be mistaken -- it is a full-time job) is the most challenging of any I know...

Teaching kids the concepts of eBay and money can be tough (06/23/10)
Buzz's internet adventures have always been fairly tame. I keep track of caches, cookies and other electronic means of spying on my surfers because, well, they're guys. Two of them past puberty, one of them roaring right up on it. A mom and a wife has to be alert to what's happening to her fellas in cyberspace...

First time mom has endless supply of confused concerns (06/06/10)
Just when I thought I had graduated from a clueless new mom to a more comfortable variation of such, I found myself in total disarray. I was at Walmart when I saw my friend's baby, who is just three weeks older than my daughter, Dani Rae. I had been warned this might happen in one of the seemingly endless supply of baby books I have read, but I swore I would never let it happen to me. ...

Just nurture the nature: Creativity isn't always genetic (04/18/10)
Is there anything better than being surprised by your children? Not those, umm, uneasy surprises, like that first weirdness you find in the diaper, the girlfriend with the pink cotton candy hair and eyebrow rings, or the disturbing tendency to sing show tunes in the shower...

Waiting up is what mothers do (04/04/10)
Dear son, (Dear sons and daughters everywhere) You say you don't understand why I was so upset when you came home at 4 in the morning after a trip to Nashville to see a friend in her school play. "I was fine, wasn't I?" you shrug. "Ah, but I didn't know that, did I?" I counter...

Protect your children online (03/10/10)
This is National Consumer Protection Week, and Tennessee Division of Consumer Affairs has issued a news release reminding parents of the importance of protecting children's privacy online. "Whether they are studying, socializing, playing games or learning, kids are spending a lot of time online," states the news release. "Parents must ensure kids make smart and safe choices when they are online. Your child's personal information and privacy are valuable -- to you, to them and to marketers."...

The season of love ... and lotteries? (02/14/10)
Ahh, Valentines Day. The season of loooove. The day of hearts and flowers. The moment that pushes Hallmark's revenues into the black and buys luxury cars for divorce lawyers everywhere .... And here it is again. As I sat up until midnight, finishing Buzz's 140-million valentines, including three for the teachers and one for the crossing guard, and Valentine's party treats for his Valentines party at school, I had a very un-Valentines revelation...

Some things about babies can't be learned from books (02/07/10)
Since returning from the hospital where my first child was delivered by cesarean section two weeks ago, I have learned so much -- mainly that I really knew nothing before having a child. I thought I had a pretty good grip on life, but it's amazing how a hundred pounds of fury in a six-pound body frame will prove you wrong!...

Sadie's got a lot to look forward to (01/31/10)
My coworker Sadie is now home with her new baby Dani. She sent us a text message saying she would be in touch later because she was still getting used to the changes in her life. I had to laugh. If she's waiting to get used to those changes, we may never hear from her again. ...

Needed: A parent-child translator (01/24/10)
Will someone please invent a truly workable translator? Not for German-Spanish, Russian-French, or even IRS-English, but for Parent-Child. I think I'm speaking clearly and succinctly to my offspring, but apparently, something is getting lost in translation. ...

I had it tough...but washing diapers? (01/10/10)
There's nothing like reader mail to keep a lifestyles editor in check every now and then. Nope, I'm not referring to my anonymous fan (or not) who likes to point out my errors -- yes, anonymously -- claiming I don't pay attention to my work. I am referring to a friend of mine who so graciously made gave me a new perspective on parenthood. ...

He still needs me, but sometimes you'd never guess (01/10/10)
How can you tell you're the parent of a college student? After my all-too-brief visit with Scott over Christmas, I realized there are several different ways to tell. First, there's the name game. When I rattle off roll call because I can't remember which kid I really want, I used to start at the top and work my way down. "Hey, Scott Ben Buzz whichever one you are."...

Snowflakes, cypress and sarsaparilla (01/06/10)
My boys were late to school Monday morning and it was all my fault. We were already running behind schedule -- there's nothing like two weeks of not having to get them up, dressed, fed and loaded in the van to make you forget how it's done on time. As we huddled in the 11-degree morning air, I froze. Figuratively as well as literally. Despite the bright, seemingly cloudless blue sky, despite the sunlight gilding everything it touched, it was snowing...

Clement Clarke Moore inspires another poet to write... (12/23/09)
'Twas the night before Christmas, all through the county Folks were waiting for their holiday bounty. The stockings were hung by the TV with care, In hopes that ole Santa soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of PSPs, DVDs, DSIs and XBOx 360s danced in their heads;...

Despite generational changes, Christmas is still for family (12/13/09)
It's getting to where I'm enjoying commercials more than the regularly scheduled programming. Around Christmas, commercials take on their own flavor, from sloppy sentimentalism to crack-you-up funny. My favorite right now is the one of the two little boys staring at a package under the tree. The younger one wonders what's in the box and his older brother tells him it could be the Wii they wanted -- or a box of meat...

Keeping it real for kiddies (12/09/09)
I had to laugh when I overheard my coworker John Carney asking of they really have made a doll that not only wets, but, umm, performs the other function as well. "Do they really make a doll that .." he asked, incredulous. "Yes," I giggled. "They doo."...

Magic, mystery await in the world of words (12/06/09)
Buzz turned 11 Wednesday and I had to break the news to him first thing that morning. "No, son, I'm sorry. The letter from Hogwarts didn't come." For the three or four of you out there who don't know, in the Harry Potter series, potential witches and wizards receive a letter near their 11th birthday to tell them they have been accepted into the wizarding school...

Equal time for the rest of the family (11/15/09)
COLUMNIST'S NOTE: Husbands, children, this is the column you want to stick on the fridge. In my Wednesday column, I explained why I was going on strike. Naturally, my family had their own response to my list of crimes and conditions. Why We are Going on Strike, Too...

McWaiting for family to clean up its act (11/11/09)
Why Mom is on strike: a note to Husband and Sons Ben ... 1. Just because I have a driver's license does not mean I am your chauffeur. 2. Just because I am your chauffeur does not mean you can blow off work early, walk to your favorite geek store and not come home until midnight while I am sitting in front of McDonald's McWaiting for you....

Independence arrives slowly (11/08/09)
There was a line on "Desperate Housewives" a couple of weeks ago when Gaby, the self-absorbed former model and indifferent housewife, berated herself for being such a terrible mom. Her husband Carlos consoled her after a clown-mauling chimp wreaked havoc at their daughter's birthday party. He pointed out that their girls didn't panic like the other kids...

Cascade goes to the 'dogs' (11/08/09)
Cascade Elementary School now allows dogs to roam its hallways. They serve as patrolmen, they read to children, eat lunch with them and generally provide a sense of security to the building. They even have a "top dog" there. But these dogs are not four-legged furry creatures. ...

A long way from here to maternity (11/01/09)
A few months ago, I wrote a column about how I don't do pregnancy very well. My appointment at 35 weeks re-confirmed this for me. I had an ultrasound that day to check for growth. The baby now weighs four pounds, 11 ounces and is shorter than average. ...

Few things beat the thrill of that first paycheck (10/25/09)
When I first started working, mowing lawns and baby sitting at 9 (younger than my youngest is now), I had a deal with my mom. I always gave her half of my earnings. Then, when I wanted to buy something major, she and Dad would match whatever she had saved back for me. ...

Hurtful words cut like a knife (10/25/09)
Maybe it's because I'm extremely pregnant and hormonal these days, but people just seem to be a lot meaner than they used to be. A few weeks ago, I was eating lunch at a restaurant and overheard two women talking. They appeared to be in their early to mid-20s. One was clearly upset. I heard her ask her friend, "What is it about me? Why do they always break up with me?"...

On-the-job training in preparation for the new arrival (10/04/09)
I learned something new last Thursday. Well, actually, I learned two new things. And guess what, they're related to babies and motherhood. (Sorry, folks, that is all that seems to be on my mind these days.) The first thing I learned is that mothers must have really, really strong back muscles. ...

Advice for that first job: it's all about the attitude (10/04/09)
Ben got a job. I don't know whether to be excited, relieved, or worried that my 17-year-old will soon be dedicating his free time to flipping burgers at McDs in Tullahoma, but since he's tickled, I will be too. Actually, I really am tickled for him. My first good job was at the same McDonald's exactly 30 years ago and although Ben isn't going to have the rare privilege for working for the then-owner Jim Devlin, I think he's going to like it there...

Age difference between siblings is cause for concern (10/04/09)
What is the perfect age between siblings in a family? I've been wondering about this a lot lately, as there are going to be six and a half years between our daughter, Tessa, and the new baby, Ella. It seems like a huge age difference to me, and sometimes, I think I was crazy to start all over. We have our routine down, and we've had a lot of fun as a family of three with an only child. But, it always seemed like something was missing...

The real meaning of the 'name game' (09/27/09)
Having pregnant coworkers is a lot of fun -- and I'm serious about that! Besides getting to feel all wise-womany, filled with "been there-done that" advice, I get to put my two bits in when they are deciding on names. I learned at an early age to be very careful about that. ...

Holiday takes a year of advance planning (09/20/09)
Buzz begins planning for his Halloween costume on Nov. 1. Now, true, most kids get inspired by the outfits they saw the night before and talk about what they want to be next year, but for Buzz, it is Serious Business. Having been exposed to The Little Shop of Horrors by his singing, dancing, acting brother, he's decided he wants to be the man-eating plant Audrey II. It could have been worse, I guess. He could have wanted to be Audrey I...

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