Parker: Coach's loss puts life in perspective

"You have got to be able to hit your free throws. Otherwise there's no way a coach is gonna let you on the floor when trying to protect a lead late in the game."

Those words echo through the mind of the next district player of the year.

Shot after shot, nothing but net.

Soon enough, success from 15 feet away becomes so habitual, the twine, coupled with a hard winter, becomes worn and hangs by just a few rusty rings.

The competitive desire to hear that swoosh sound takes over. A stocking stuffer later, the adolescent is up a warped ladder in a saturated driveway to fix the problem.

Somewhere a tired parent gets a call at work.

Denial courses through veins like an epidemic as goose bumps appear in a 76 degree room.

"No! Who is this? That can't be right. I just saw my child this morning."

One of the ladder's legs gave way and the young All-American was sent careening just a step from the top. A caught foot made a dismount impossible as everything and everybody hit the pavement with a fury.

A life is over. A wake of anger, sadness and disbelief follow.

It can all happen that quickly.

The phone rings again.

An inconsolable voice on the other end tries to explain the unexplainable.

A life ends before it has ever started. A candle blazing with potential burns out shortly after the match is lit.

Now imagine that child is yours.

A parent is not supposed to be around when their offspring passes.

You question your god while shaking uncontrollably in spells of rage.

TONY DUNGY

It won't be until long after the coffin lid is closed at the funeral that you start to come to grips with what happened.

Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy and his wife Lauren are currently living with these demons as they attempt to come to grips with the apparent suicide of their 18-year-old son James.

Having seen parents grieve after such a tragedy, words cannot describe the pain that goes with losing a child. It has to be the worst pain a human can suffer.

The coach stood strong and delivered powerful messages as he addressed the media in Lutz, Fla., on Tuesday.

"I want to urge you to continue being who you are because our young boys in this country, they need to hear from you," he said. "If anything, be bolder in who you are. Because our boys are getting a lot of the wrong messages about what it means to be a man in this world. About how you should act, and how you should dress, and how you should talk, and how you should treat people.

"They don't always get the right message, but you guys have the right messages."

He went on to suggest that parents everywhere hug their kids because you never know when it could be your last chance.

It shouldn't have to come from a man in his state, but it wouldn't hurt to take his words to heart.

Ask yourself if that argument you are about to start is really worth it. Simply take a step back and see if the issue can be resolved in a better manner.

No, I don't have kids. Do I really need to be to urge you to love your family?

But, despite not being able to relate on some levels, I was a teenager not long ago and can sympathize with some of the things James was probably going through. If we take a minute to recall, most of us likely can.

At that age parental discussions aren't high on a teenager's list of priorities. So, just let them know you love them no matter how many minutes they rack up on their phone or how late their Friday night was.

Think about what Tony and Lauren Dungy might do with James if the could only have him for a few more hours.

Shouldn't that be how you spend the rest of your day?

At least be there to hold the ladder.

Danny Parker is sports editor of the Times-Gazette.