I was busted with contraband at the Rotary Club

As soon as I walked through the door, one of the Rotarians I met mentioned this column, saying she reads it every week. I've been getting a lot of that lately, which is a good thing.

I mentioned to her that I've probably gotten more positive response out of this column than from anything else I've written during my 15-year career as a journalist, and said that I feel like a lot of people must be able to relate to me and how I struggle to shed pounds.

She said, "That's because it's so hard to lose weight."

That is a great truth that I'm realizing in my life, and it's a truth of my own making.

Things were going great at the Rotary meeting, when a group of us from the Times-Gazette were asked to lead the club through the food line. I got chicken parmesan, some potatoes, a salad and a piece of cornbread.

After I set my tray down, I noticed some desserts lurking in the corner. I knocked a few people out of my way in my rush to get to the table, where I quickly decided on a piece of pecan pie. Pure sugar with nuts.

As soon as I turned around with the contraband in my hand, a lady I had just met said, "Hey, I thought you were the diet guy."

Busted!

"I never said I was on a diet," I stammered. "I'm just making healthier choices!"

She gave me a look that said, "Yeah, right," and I slinked back to my table to console myself with calories. That was some tasty pie.

Nothing like a little accountability. I need all the help I can get.

It seems I've set myself up on a kind of reward system, which could probably use an overhaul.

I had a really great week as far as exercise is concerned. On Saturday, I started my day off with Zumba and felt great all day until I gorged on late night fast food tacos.

On Sunday, I went with my friend and neighbor, Cee Cee DeFur, to Cedars of Lebanon State Park, where we hiked five miles.

I say hiked, but it was really more like a fast-paced walk through the woods. Middle Tennessee is so flat, it doesn't seem like hiking to me. I'm from East Tennessee and have hiked in Great Smoky Mountains National Park many times. Up there, five miles can give me a real butt whipping, and of course, some trails are harder than others, depending upon the elevation change. At Cedars of Lebanon, I got excited about a small hill.

Still, it was a lot of fun, and Cee Cee is good company. I like to talk, and she's a good listener.

At about the halfway mark, I started blabbing about going 10 miles instead of five, and she raised her eyebrows. By the time we were done with the five-mile loop, however, I was beginning to get hungry.

We stopped at a wing and burger joint in Murfreesboro, and it didn't take much for the scantily clad waitress to talk me into the special of the day -- a full flab of ribs for $9.99.

Wait, did I just say "flab?" I meant to say "slab." Must have been a Freudian slop -- I mean slip.

Anyway, they were succulent, right down to the sauce on my fingers. As I was gnawing the bones, it occurred to me that I had just wiped out all the hiking we had just done.

I did Zumba two more times after that, and thought I was going to weigh in under 230 lbs., but alas, I weighed 231, exactly the same as last week. Note to self: Must stop eating tacos, ribs and pie.

I will reiterate though, that it's not just about losing weight. It's about slimming down and feeling better. A few people have told me lately that I look thinner, and that is great to hear. And I do feel better about myself.

After my talk last week about the measuring tape, I got an e-mail saying that I need to get my fat index checked, so when I do that, I'll report the unadulturated scientific findings.

Until then, I'll try not to set a bad example in public.

-- John Philleo is editor of the Times-Gazette. He can be reached at (931) 684-1200, ext. 218, or by e-mail at editor@t-g.com. This column is scheduled to print every Friday.