I'll write my speech when I get around to it

I'll be the first to admit it. I am the world's worst procrastinator. I'm not sure how this happened, because as a child and young adult I was always ahead of myself, always prepared, on time, on target -- with plenty of time to spare.

Some people would say I was a worrywart, some would say I was wise beyond my years.

Then I got into the newspaper business.

There's something about this career that transforms even the most organized, get-it-done-early type of person into a puddle of, well, procrastination.

We are busy -- very busy -- have deadlines, and often work well under pressure, but we procrastinate until the press is on the verge of rolling. I now procrastinate in regular life, too.

I never make the two-week window for airline discounts, I nearly run out of gas on a weekly basis, I call my stylist for a hair appointment when my dark brown roots are driving even the men I work with crazy (can you work me in tomorrow please?), and if it weren't for my husband I would be late on all my bills.

If I were on my way to pick up the president, I'd be cleaning my car out somewhere on Pennsylvania Avenue.

I usually manage to pull things off, but I've realized, by mistake only, that there's one thing I'll never procrastinate on again.

When my best friend Kathleen asked me last year to be her maid of honor, I said yes, of course, immediately. How hard could it be?

Then I got to thinking. Hmmm. I live in Shelbyville and she lives in Las Vegas. We both are from New York. I only get about 12 days off a year, and all my off time is usually reserved for family trips. How am I supposed to help her shop for the dress?

If I only knew then what I know now. There is so much more to being a maid of honor than shopping!

In my defense, I will say that I advised Kathleen early on that she should probably choose a friend who lives near her to be her maid of honor.

That was a mistake.

"No way, I want you," she said, quickly putting me in my place.

Okay, I can do this.

A year has gone by and, as I write this, the wedding is five days away -- in Las Vegas.

While I did manage to give her a shower -- with plenty of help -- in New York while we were both home for Christmas, I'm convinced I'm probably the worst maid of honor in the history of maid of honors.

But I work best under pressure, and I've still got time!

Just this morning, I decided I would Google "maid of honor duties" to make sure I'd know what I'm in for the day of the wedding. Yikes! The procrastinating journalist is now kicking it up a notch, and playing a ferocious game of catch up, in hopes to make up for my poor pre-wedding performance and pull it all off come wedding day.

Speeches, toasts, wedding day therapist, coordinator, messenger, makeup artist, bank, etc., all according to the web sites I visited.

What?

Whatever happened to Elvis?

Kathleen's Vegas style wedding is of no equivalence to the one I had in Vegas (where I'll tell you she had it easy as my maid of honor). Hers will be grand, formal, and Elvis-free -- and it's all on me to make sure she makes it through the day.

Thanks to ideas found online, I've managed in just two days since returning from a family trip to New York to pull together the "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." I even remembered yesterday to drop my dress off for alterations.

Thankfully, I'll be able to pick it up on my way to the airport!

I love Kathleen dearly, and I'm not making light of my duties, it's just that the procrastinator in me failed to realize how many there were.

There is one thing that worries me a bit, though.

The speech!

I ought to be able to pull this off, although I haven't even begun to think about what I'll say. I'm actually afraid of this part because I've learned I'm supposed to tell of a few of my fond childhood memories.

Kathleen doesn't know that her parents have paid me not to share the stories of all the wild things we did and all the trouble we got into as youngsters.

I'll think of something ... because the wedding press is starting to roll!

-- Sadie Fowler is lifestyles editor at the Times-Gazette. Her column, Sadie Says, runs every Sunday. She may be reached at sfowler@t-g.com or 684-1200 ext. 214.