My life, measured out in excerpts

You've seen them.

You've gone to movies or bought novels because of them, haven't you?

"... surprisingly funny!" -- The Washington Gazette

" ... a great movie." -- The New York Sentinel

"... what being an author is all about!" -- The San Francisco Times

"... amazing ..." -- The Orlando Examiner

Having been trained by professors at the University of Tennessee ("... best education a journalist can get ..."), and being slightly suspicious of people in general, I never place much trust in those blurbs.

Here's what the examples above probably said, if you ask me:

"To think this author ever got published is surprisingly funny!" -- The Washington Gazette

"What I really wanted to see was a great movie. But this one was horrible." -- The New York Sentinel

"This is not what being an author is all about!" -- The San Francisco Times

"To think that this book ever got published is amazing to me." -- The Orlando Examiner

These excerpts are called sound bites when they're on TV news, and some networks are masters of using them to skew the news by taking phrases out of context.

If I wrote a review stating, "The XYZ News staff is talented at taking things out of context."

They might shorten it to "The XYZ News staff is talented ..." -- The Shelbyville Times-Gazette

To be honest with you, I used XYZ in my example because I'm pretty sure if I used the letters of an actual network it would actually show up in some sort of ad next week.

And by the way, when was the last time you saw a correction on the TV news? I guess they don't make mistakes ...

But, I digress ...

I recently saw an ad for a movie that had one of these ellipsed words of praise, and I wondered what my life would be like, taken only in excerpts.

"... amazingly handsome ..."

"... the wealthiest man in Shelbyville ..."

"... a fantastic writer."

"... amazing!"

" ... fit and trim."

Here's what was really said:

"His brother, Mike, is amazingly handsome."

"John wonders who the wealthiest man in Shelbyville is."

"He would love to be a fantastic writer."

"This crab dip is amazing!"

"He's not exactly fit and trim."

That's about how things go when life is taken out of context.

On another note, I haven't stopped smoking yet, but I'm gearing up to try again within the next month -- too many people are putting pressure on me, even my dentist! Thanks, Jay, it lets me know you care.

I've actually been pretty much of a sloth lately. I've done some walking, but no running, and no aerobics classes. I tried to make one recently, but it filled up quickly and I was left out in the cold. I'll have to get there earlier next time!

Thankfully, the weight is holding steady under 230 pounds. As a reminder, my goal is to get under 200 by the end of the year, so I'm going to have to motivate myself again soon.

Of course, I didn't get any help from the dairy association at the kickoff event Tuesday -- they served cake, and of course, ice cream. All the ice cream I wanted ...

-- John Philleo is editor of the Times-Gazette. He can be reached by e-mail at editor@t-g.com.