For some, Internet keeps family connections alive

We had a story in last week's Sunday edition about how the internet is destroying family time. In a way, I can understand that -- if one kid is plugged into his MySpace account and the other one is plugged into his Xbox, it's kind of hard to gather them around the dinner table for some good, quality together time.

That is -- if your family is prone to good, quality family time.

In our house, oddly enough, the opposite is true. The internet has probably done more to bring us together than anything not involving Christmas presents or last rites. When we are all lined up to access the computer, it is just about the only occasion we're all in the same room at the same time.

If it weren't for the Internet --­ specifically Facebook -- I wouldn't know what my college boy was up to until it involved something that was going to cost me money. The social networking site has allowed me to reconnect with family members I haven't spoken with since my mom died -- including my big sister. I don't know whether it's because of fate, God, or irony that we found each other again -- and communicated again -- but it came at a time when it was truly needed.

Partly because our kids are so spread out in age, with an 8-year gap between oldest and youngest, and partly because working parents tend to collapse at the end of the day, our family has never been one for that reinforced, "Be There or Else" family time. Our idea of family time is everyone who's actually there piling on our king size bed to watch "The Soup" and eat blueberry muffins on Sunday morning.

Personally, speaking in the Season of Reunions, I think organized family times are overrated. I'm sure a lot of people won't agree with me, but a lot of people haven't raised three boys and haven't had to listen to dinner table explanations, demonstrations and recitations detailing just why the sound of certain bodily functions are the height of he-man humor.

Scott, the oldest, came home Friday for his 19th birthday. It was sort of impromptu, although he did actually give me more notice than the usual, "Hey, mom. I'm coming home for the night. I just pulled in the driveway."

This time, he let me know far enough in advance that I had fleeting dreams of Family Time. All three of my boys, my husband and I. I didn't have to work, we had no pressing social engagements (Hahahaha. Right. The only pressing social engagement I've had lately was paying my overdue cable bill to the guy from Charter when he dropped by.)

But then, as Robbie Burns would say, the best-laid plans began ganging aft aglay. They ganged aft aglay all over the place because we had to contend with Vacation Bible School, late work hours, our Master Thespian being ensconced in Bell Buckle with a Friday night rehearsal...

(INSERT SHAMELESS PLUG HERE: The Tennessee Shakespeare Festival opened this weekend at Webb School in Bell Buckle and you've still got a chance to see it. Great entertainment, great prices, great fun. Don't miss it!)

So I gave up. I threw all the planning to the wind, although I did buy a vegetarian lasagna and a half-gallon of pistachio for my prodigal oldest, and a couple of pints of strawberries for my middle son, just in case he got to eschew the Bard for a day or two and come home after all.

I sent out the Facebook messages and emails, most of them along the lines of "get here when you get here or let me know when I can pick you up."

Abandoning all hopes of Family Time, I dove back into work (or waded back in, anyway. It was coming up on the weekend, after all.)

And that's when the Internet, the great destroyer of Family Time, went to work, and all the pieces fell together. Against all odds, everybody got home at about the same time and for the first time on months, I had my whole family in the dining room at one time.

So, no, I can't totally agree with the idea that the internet is destroying family time. But I will admit this -- no one was allowed to get online that night!

We had some serious Apples to Apples to play.

-- Mary Reeves is a staff writer for the Times-Gazette. She can be reached by e-mail at mreeves@t-g.com.