A miracle occurs, and a life-changing experience begins

Hint: My miracle has to do with plus signs and baby doll shirts.

Have you guessed?

I'll be blunt: I announce today that I am expecting my first baby!

I was nearly 9 weeks along when I found out and I was shocked because I honestly did not think children were in my future. My husband and I had ridden the "try to conceive" roller coaster ride a while back, but had no success. Doctors told me in-vitro was realistically my only option. Jack and I decided we didn't want to do that.

About a month ago, during a trip to New York, my father had asked me, "Sadie, when do you think you're going to have kids?"

Because it was my dad, and I gathered he was asking me out of true sincerity (he has a terminal illness), I responded simply and nicely, and told him kids probably weren't for me.

Truth be told, I had gotten to the point where I dreaded the question my father asked me. One time, someone asked me if I was expecting as a result of a baby doll styled shirt I was wearing -- and I devoted an entire column to the topic, explaining why it's never good to assume a woman is pregnant.

On Mother's Day (I was pregnant and didn't know it) I expressed my belief that a woman's purpose in life has nothing to do with her desire nor ability to procreate.

Pregnancy topics had become a sore subject with me, but I had finally become very comfortable with my freedom to go and do, ultimately responsible for only myself. Nonetheless, I still felt that tad bit of emptiness in knowing I'd never know what it would feel like to have a child of my own.

So when I saw that little plus sign I about fell over -- and then ran to the store to buy three more pregnancy tests because surely, I had messed up the first one!

Not so ... and I couldn't help but feel like God was handing me down a little miracle of my own. Perhaps it had something to do with my dad. Knowing his days are limited, maybe this wonderful man deserved to see his only daughter have a little girl of her own. Or, maybe God was trying to save me from falling apart. During the rough days ahead, I'll have no choice but to hold it together for my little baby.

Whatever the reason, I am totally pregnant, and I figured it's about time I let people know, as I am sure some of you who've seen me lately may wonder what the heck I've been eating all summer.

A couple of weeks ago, shortly after I'd found out, I told some of my friends at the gym I attend. One lady literally about fell over laughing.

Tabby, the owner of the gym, asked me if I had shared the news with a group of girls I was visiting with over delicious watermelon on this Saturday morning.

I told the ladies they had to guess. One woman responded, "Don't tell me someone asked you THE question!"

I said, "No, Angela, no one asked me where I go to church." (That is another question I dislike being asked.)

I told her I was pregnant. She slapped the table with her hands, stomped her feet on the floor, and just laughed hysterically, wondering, based on what I've written in the past, how I'd ever manage to explain this one to our readers.

Again, open mouth, insert foot ...

We got a good belly laugh out of it, so thanks, Angela!

Aside from feeling fat, if I didn't know I was pregnant I wouldn't know I was pregnant. I've had no sickness and feel great.

Thanks to my co-workers Mary and Tamara -- and Google -- I'm learning a lot about pregnancy, although I've probably become hugely annoying to the girls, driving them crazy with all my questions.

Mary's convinced I'm having a boy (she performed the ring test on me) and another friend of mine, Billy Wortham, performed the "eye test," another old wives' tale, which also indicated a boy is in my future.

Both mom and dad (and admittedly, myself) hope for a girl, although I'll be happy with either. But it sure would be completely fulfilling to show my dad, big farmer Dan, his first granddaughter, and tell him she's been named after him, Dani Killian Fowler.

Until that time comes, I'm just riding this new roller coaster ride, and learning new things everyday.

Just think, you'll have one more person on the T-G features staff writing about pregnancy and motherhood. I had always balanced out our staff by writing about anything but that ... but things have changed.

And now, for the first time, I can say I know where they're coming from ...

-- Sadie Fowler is lifestyles editor at the Times-Gazette. She can be reached at sfowler@t-g.com. This column is scheduled to publish each Sunday.