Birthday a time to look over life's goals

Birthdays don't really bother me anymore. I'm about to turn 32. I don't mind sharing my age with anyone, although some women do.

Age is all relative. To a teenager, I'm ancient, but to someone who is in their 80s, I'm still a spring chicken.

It seems like just yesterday I was 16, riding up and down Madison Street with my cousin, Kim, the windows rolled down, the Eagles or Garth Brooks blaring on the radio, singing along at the top of our lungs. Sometimes, I wonder what happened to that girl, but then I realize it was life.

The hardest for me was when I turned 30. When I was 18, I made a list of five goals for myself to have accomplished by the time I was 30. I did reach some of them, but not all. Here is the list and what I have accomplished.

1. I want to be married. This goal was accomplished when I was nearly 21. We're still together 11 years later. I married young, a lot younger than I had expected, but it has worked out, even though there have been times I've wondered if it would.

2. I want to be finished having children. Well, that didn't work out so well either. I had my first child, Tessa, and we wanted a second child but, at that point, hadn't been able to conceive.

3. I will be a licensed therapist. When I turned 30, I was very, very far from this goal, but I made up my mind a few months ago that I was going to do it now. So, I start school at the end of this month to finish my degree.

4. I will be a syndicated political columnist. I still have very strong political views, and I will share them with people if they ask and then don't treat me as though I'm stupid for not believing the way I do. I do have this column, and it's not political nor syndicated, but I'm proud of it all the same.

5. I will be a published fiction writer. This one hurt me the most at the time and still does, to be honest. I've wanted to be a writer since I first read "The Little House on the Prairie" series when I was in the second grade. I've written one terribly written novel, one not horrible novel and one pretty good one. I've not had any luck finding a publisher for the last one, and I know it's not horrible and is just as good as some of the others on the bookstore shelves. I will accomplish this goal one of these days; I just have to keep writing and submitting.

Those were my goals, and when I expressed disappointment at not having accomplished all of them, my cousin Kim told me she thought I had done pretty well. I had a good job, a husband, a child and owned my home, something not everyone can say, and I realized she was right.

It is good to have hopes and dreams and goals for yourself. It gives you something to look forward to and something to work toward. However, if you can't change your dreams, if you can't adapt to the situations life hands you, you're apt to miss all the goods things you do have.

Last year was one of the most horrible birthdays of my life. I don't even remember what I did. I do know we didn't celebrate it. I was pregnant with our second child and already knew she would not live once she was born. In fact, six days later, she was stillborn. That time is a complete blur to me, but I learned a lot from it, one thing being to celebrate each day as though it might be your last.

Another lesson I've learned is don't sweat the small stuff, and honestly, a birthday is a very small thing in the grand scheme of things.

This year, we are celebrating. I'm going to see "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" at the IMAX at Opry Mills. I'm being treated to dinner by my two favorite people in the world, my daughter, Tessa, and my husband, Brian. We will probably go to the Rainforest Cafe, which is a dining experience all on its own. I might even do some school shopping for Tessa and buy some clothes for my newest little one who is being named Ella.

I'm going to walk around with a smile on my face, realizing life can change in a heartbeat and has no guarantee to stay the way you think it should.

I'm going to smile because I'm another year older and another year wiser and because birthdays are good things, not bad.

We have to celebrate all the good things that have happened, mourn all the bad and forget that with each birthday we are one step closer to death.

Life is about living, not dying, and birthdays honor life, so be glad for each one you get. Some aren't so lucky.

--Tamara Belinc is a staff writer. She can be reached at tbelinc@t-g.com.