Fear, loneliness as pregnancy's terrors increase

First of all, I am terrified that I will lose my mind as a mother. With my family 1,200 miles away and my husband a three-hour drive south, I fear I will have no one to help me, support me, encourage me -- babysit ­-- when I'm ready to pull my hair out.

I never quite understood this concept prior to getting pregnant, and I admit, I was a bit selfish myself in the past. Whenever I visit New York, my sister-in-law always asks me to babysit. I really don't like babysitting, and I always have a million and one people to see while there, so spending an entire evening babysitting has never appealed to me.

Plus, Tiffany has the rest of the family up there to help out, so I always wonder why she is asking me?

Well, I am ashamed to admit those feelings, and now I realize maybe poor Tiffany just needed a break. Maybe she wanted to give the usual babysitters a break. Maybe she wanted me to spend time alone with my nephews. Maybe she could predict the future and knew I'd need the practice!

Who knows, but if there's one thing I constantly hear from moms it's that, on occasion, they need alone time ... a chance to go to dinner with girlfriends, a chance to make a trip to the store alone, a chance to just regain their sanity ...

I was quite lonely last weekend, and I haven't even had my baby yet. Besides my husband calling to check in from Tulsa, I think my phone only rang one time the whole weekend. All I could think about last weekend was wishing I was home, with a plethora of things to do and friends and family to spend time with. What will I do when I'm alone all weekend with a baby?

I guess Lizzie will get lots and lots of walks and maybe even slim down a bit ... if only she could walk more than a quarter mile without laying flat on her belly, legs kicked back, as only shih-tzus do.

But seriously, what if I'm depressed? Will I go crazy? Who will I call to relieve me? Will my friends without children still want to hang out with me?

After reading "The Shack," a book I've wanted to read for months now, for a couple hours, I turned on the tube only to be reminded of my second fear, much greater than the first.

There's a show called, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant," on TLC and Discovery Health, which features women who carry their children full-term, not realizing they are pregnant until painful contractions land them in the hospital. The viewer sees the mother deliver her baby, often times without an epidural because the mother is too far into labor.

I swear, if they showed shows like this to high school girls teen pregnancy rates would plummet, because the screams of terror are better than any other form of birth control I know about.

This must sound crazy to some of you, but I am actually terrified of giving birth!

Labor and delivery is one of those topics where depending on who you ask, you get a different answer. Ranging from "it's a piece of cake," to "I don't even want to scare you," everyone has a different level of pain tolerance and also a different labor experience all together.

Some people swear by epidurals while others feel they're dangerous and opt for natural delivery. My aunt Laura recently went through natural birth, and didn't complain a bit. Most people I've talked to who've delivered naturally say it's a temporary pain that goes away as soon as the baby is out.

But wow, if those screams on television aren't enough to terrify you, I don't know what is. If epidurals were indeed dangerous, I doubt they'd be offered, and if this were the case, I would suggest taking these television shows off the air!

Because after last weekend, I have no doubt what option I'm taking.

Sadie Fowler is lifestyles editor at the Times-Gazette. She can be reached at sfowler@t-g.com. This column is scheduled to publish each Sunday.