Work keeps teenager busy, but he's learning life lessons

He's been a little bit hampered by his Catch-22 situation -- he wants a job to buy a car and he can't get a job because he doesn't have a car. At least, that's his excuse, but I have to gently remind him that the fact that he is in the marching band, which means afternoon practices, Friday night football games, and all-day Saturday competitions, might have something to do with it. And then there's his participation in the high school singers, which means afternoon practice, weeknight concerts and, after marching season, Saturday competitions .... When he isn't performing in some play or other.

He's too busy to work!

I don't mind, really. I'd love for Ben to have all the pocket money and wheels he needed, and I'd be happy if he had a job he enjoyed, but I also want him to have fun his senior year. Scholarships and work study programs are going to be all that gets him to and through college, so, like his older brother, he'll probably have to have a job when he gets there.

I had friends who refused to let their children get jobs, saying school came first. I agree -- and if I ever saw school work suffering because of a job, I'd be the first one yanking him off the burger production line and into a tutor's tender mercies. But I worked all the way through high school and college. There's more than money involved here -- I believe that first job establishes the foundation of the work ethic. What you learn at every job, you carry to the next one, and throughout your life.

I've never understood people who don't want to work. I don't mean stay-at-home parents. That's more work than I want to even contemplate! I'm talking about those who just don't want to work and don't mind letting others take care of their every need. If I won the lottery this week, I'd still keep working, if only as a volunteer for a literacy program or at the animal shelter.

My first job, like most 13-year-old girls, was baby sitting, but I dropped the snot-nosed kiddies in a hoofbeat when I was offered the chance to be a stable girl for a local Arabian breeder. I got to groom and exercise the most amazing horses three days a week -- and they paid me for it! Talk about a job made in heaven ...

What did I learn from this job? Those for whom you are responsible respond better to soft words and kind gestures than shouting and threats. (Oh, and don't try to worm them by tube without cross ties, a lip twitch, and four burly veterinary assistants.)

A short stint at Shoney's probably taught me my most valuable lesson -- if you don't show up, you will get fired.

More than seven years at various McDonald's taught me the philosophical points of employment, such as the fact there will always be someone you can't stand working with you. Quit, transfer or get a restraining order, it doesn't matter. That person will only be replaced by another. Get used to and learn how to work with them anyway.

In college, I had four jobs, but only three at the same time. I was an au pair for a professor (Lesson learned: I was not ready for children at that time! And, after four years, it's hard to leave the ones you love ....).

I was a dorm attendant, which meant I baby sat the dorm entrance to keep the undesirables out. Since this was a liberal arts college, heavy on the liberal, the undesirables were pretty much limited to the CIA. I'm not kidding -- we were the first college to protest CIA recruitment on campus and we got them kicked out. What I learned on that job was that celebrities are disgustingly human. They were filming the movie "Making the Grade" there in my lobby and I had to sit through boring hour after hour of take after take and I can tell you that Gordon Jump is charming and Judd Nelson is a .... well, I can't use that kind of language in a family paper.

I also worked at the McDonald's across from Libertyland, where I learned that white people do not look good in polyester lime green uniforms.

But my best college job by far was at the FedEx hub, where I got to check the address of all the packages addressed to a certain part of Manhattan. I was a comic book collector, and the first day a package addressed to the irrepressible Marvel genius Stan Lee came across my sorter's table, my heart went pitter-pat. I scrawled his catch phrase "Excelsior!" across the back of it with my Sharpie and sent it on to Stan the Man himself.

After the sort was over, we got to "walk the belts," running down the miles and miles of conveyor belts to find missed packages. What did I learn at me Fed Ex job? Besides every zip code in Manhattan, I learned that jobs can actually be fun.

And -- they can be detrimental. Because of the weird hours ( 11 p.m. to 3 a.m.), my metabolism got messed up and my grades deteriorated and it would be another 10 years before I actually finished my degree.

So yes, Ben, I want you to have a job. It builds character, it grows a bank account, and it teaches responsibility and teamwork. But so does band, singers and putting on a play. Well, except for the bank account thing -- they tend to deplete that, rather than build it.

If you actually find a job, I'm right behind you (or beside you, since I'll be driving you there for a while yet), but if I ever see you start to stumble between work and school like I did at college, the job ends.

For now.

-- Mary Reeves is a staff writer for the Times-Gazette. She may be reached at 684-1200.