Just saying 'no' can have a powerful effect

That was Buzz, the 10-year-old, last Saturday.

What made it the best day ever? A trip to Disney World? A new Wii? His school burned down?

Nope. We had homemade bean burritos for lunch, watermelon for dessert, and took a rare trip to the drive-in that night to see "Shorts."

Can you remember when your "best day ever" was that simple? Of course, the cynics will say that means the rest of his life must be pretty awful, but the fact is, he's just easy to satisfy. If I bring home vanilla wafers or give him a couple of quarters for the gumball machine, that makes for a pretty good day in Buzz's book.

A co-worker recently posted a link to a news story on my Facebook site about some parents who are trying to ban ice cream vendors from a local public park. The vendors parked outside the park and played their music. One mother complained that her child threw fits if she heard the music and wasn't allowed to get ice cream, so she wanted the vendor's distinctive music silenced. Another parent said she saw a stroller parked near the van's exhaust pipe. The vendors must go!

Or .... the parents can start stepping up to the plate and try a new technique that helps them raise socially well adjusted and healthy children. It's called parenting. If a child screams for ice cream, it's a problem the parents need to deal with, not the poor schmuck trying to earn a living driving freeze pops around. There is a magic word more powerful than "please." It's called "No."

When did parents become so afraid of saying "No" to their children? I can do it, and I'm a far cry from the Model Parent of the Year. Sometimes I have to say it out of necessity, and it hurts. When I had to tell Buzz "No" to Cub Scouts because of transportation and financial issues, I cried more than he did. Sometimes you say "No" because you're trying to teach your child a lesson in moral behavior. When I told the 17-year-old "No" about going on the co-ed sleepover campout, the wild child I had been at his age protested, but the mom stood firm. I want to be good friends with my children, but I have to be their mom, first and foremost. If I have to sacrifice the friendship with the occasional, reasonable "No," then so be it.

Of course, these parents may have the right idea. I think I'll sue to have all Wii commercials banned -- they make my boys cry for one. And what about those vacation commercials that show the sandy beaches, blue skies and scantily clad women? Take them off the air -- you're making my husband cry when I say "No." I think we should outlaw claw machines in department stores because I can't seem to walk past one without giving it a try, even though I know they're going to be there ... it's all the store's fault, so they should toss them out ...

No. It's all about discipline and self-discipline, and the best way to teach children how to fight temptation is to teach them how to say "No" and how to hear "No" when they come across temptation. (Saying "No" was never a problem for my oldest. It was his first, last and only word for a looooong time. Hearing it, on the other hand ...)

As for the stroller parked near the van's exhaust, I had to wonder -- was the van there before the stroller? Did a parent park the stroller by the exhaust? Was anyone aware that strollers have wheels and can be moved?

The movie we saw last week was about a wishing rock. When the children found it, they could wish for anything, and it would happen. Being kids, there were more endless supplies of chocolate bars and pterodactyls than there were ends to world hunger (unless they wanted chocolate), and the overall theme was one of my favorites -- be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

Later, I asked Buzz what he would wish for if he had a wishing rock.

"My own robot, winning the lottery, a pool," he mumbled sleepily from the back seat. "Or another bean burrito ..."

Mary Reeves is a Times-Gazette staff writer. She can be reached at mreeves@t-g.com.