On-the-job training in preparation for the new arrival

I learned something new last Thursday. Well, actually, I learned two new things. And guess what, they're related to babies and motherhood. (Sorry, folks, that is all that seems to be on my mind these days.)

The first thing I learned is that mothers must have really, really strong back muscles. My friend and co-worker Mandy Flynn, who's been a huge help in giving me tips and advice about motherhood, had her first child, Levi, about three months ago. Mandy asked Jack and I to babysit last Friday night and, of course, we jumped at the opportunity -- seriously!

I may hate babysitting more than anyone else in the world, but how could I say no to this perfect opportunity for on-the-job training. Plus, it would just be for a couple of hours. Seeing that it wasn't my brother who was asking, I took Mandy's word that two hours really meant two hours.

Precious little Levi arrived at my house around 7 p.m. Upon arrival, he couldn't have been more precious. He was sleeping.

"This will be a breeze," I told Jack. "Go ahead and put in the movie we rented."

I was eating my words two minutes later, getting my first glimpse into the frequent interruptions motherhood will entail. Not that Levi was bad at all -- he wasn't -- but I, being the paranoid person I am, freaked out at the first sign of whimpering. We fed Levi, which satisfied his first whimper. We changed Levi, which didn't satisfy the next one.

Coincidentally, I guess I also learned that there are several different types of whimpering. I just couldn't quite pick up on Levi's language within his short stay.

I couldn't figure out what to do when he cried after he'd been fed and changed. We walked, and danced, and walked, and sang, and walked, and walked and walked.

I learned I'd better get busy doing more exercises for my back at the gym every morning, because all I could think was that there's no way I'll be able to carry a baby around constantly with my current, apparently weak, back muscles.

"Jack, we really need to get a rocking chair!" I said. "Like, tomorrow."

Levi fell asleep in my arms and he looked just like an angel. He remained asleep in my arms for the duration of the evening, which brings me to the second lesson I learned last Friday evening.

Babies truly love -- and need -- to be cuddled.

I spent a good amount of time last Thursday seeking out child care, and thinking about the type of care that would work best for me. On the one hand, I would love for my daughter to have one-on-one (or as close to as possible) attention. Hence, it would be nice to find a caring and nurturing person who watches babies at her home. On the other hand, the structure of an actual day care facility would be nice. I don't get many days off from work, and so I need a place that's open while I work -- and extremely reliable.

But then I realized how much cuddling and nurturing Levi needed and immediately wondered if child care facilities can truly provide what infants need. That has become the question of the month for me. I can't seem to come up with the right plan.

I had no clue how difficult making child care plans would be. I have not decided what type will be best for me, but even when I do decide, the trouble is not over. My next mission will be to find the right person or the right place. Then, I'm told, I'll be contending with waiting lists if I chose to pursue a facility or referrals and interviews, if I choose to go with an individual. And who knows if I will even be able to find the facility or the mother hen I'm seeking.

Someone told me finding great child care in this area comes down to "who you are" and "who you know," which I found to be very unsettling, since my roots here are quite shallow. (By the way, I will now take advantage of my position at this paper and tell anyone reading this that I am open to anyone's suggestions about this topic.)

Until I find a solution, I guess the only thing I can do is to work on my own skills as a nurturing mother -- hopefully with a little help from my new buddy, Levi.

-- Sadie Fowler is lifestyles editor at the Times-Gazette. She may be reached at sfowler@t-g.com or 684-1200.