Gifts from the heart -- and the bank account

Catalogs are great, especially for busy folks this time of year who need to do some one stop shopping.

I received a catalog on my desk a few days ago, and I have managed to do all my Christmas shopping as well as make my very own Christmas wish list.

I am being a little conservative this year with my wish list. I don't really need anything major, so I am only going to ask Santa for a few small things. I saw a hoody that will be comfortable and wonderfully cozy this winter, as well as a cardigan set that will be perfect once I get my post baby shape back. Keeping it light and simple, I'm adding a manicure set to my list as well as a scarf.

I found a cool baby stroller that I'm going to ask Jack to get for baby Dani Rae.

Doesn't sound bad, huh? No jewels, no cars, no big electronics ... Jack will be so thrilled when I give him my short list of requests for the holiday.

Let me break out my calculator ... hoody, cardigan, stroller, nail files and a scarf ... that shouldn't be bad. Let me add it all up here ... Uh oh. I must have made a mistake, because surely those five items cannot total $1,429.00!

Who can afford to buy a $300 scarf?

Oh wait a minute ... did I tell you I am shopping from the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book? Yep, it came to my desk and let me tell you I have truly never seen anything like this catalog in my life. Talk about making you feel inadequate. I think there was only one or two things in the entire catalog that I could even afford, such as the manicure kit (and that's only if I'm splurging because it alone costs $120).

To me, my experience browsing through the catalog is equal to setting a 10-year-old kid free in FAO Schwarz -- and then telling him at the end of the trip he can only get a candy bar.

I became enthralled with the fantasy catalog, fascinated with its contents and fascinated by the fact that people actually do shop from it. I decided to do some (fantasy) shopping of my own. Within minutes I had picked out the perfect gifts for all of my fellow reporters in the newsroom.

David Melson's gift was the easiest to pick out. Since he's been looking for a new car since I've known him, I think he'll love the customized cupcake car (it literally looks like a cupcake, frosting and all). He loves sweets and he loves cars, and I can just see him buzzing down Main Street in the Christmas parade in this car wearing his Jack Frost costume. It only costs $25,000, which is mere in comparison of what Brian Mosely and his new wife get.

They're getting the "His and Her luxury sports vehicle" -- that flies! Yes, sci-fi comes to reality with this little aviation miracle that cruises the skies at a low altitude. It was made for couples wanting to kick date night up a notch. The cost, $250,000, is a little stretch, but I know Brian will love it.

Kent Flanagan's gift was an easy find, too. I'm getting him the world's fastest electric motorcycle, for those long drives to and from Franklin every day. At $75,000, his is a bargain.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to give the next package to Mary Reeves or John Carney, but I think I'm going to give it to John and give Mary something she would never get for herself ... something really girly.

John gets the Algonquin Round Table Experience. The ad for this reads, "Imagine hosting the brightest minds of modern literature, journalism, and the arts. An exclusive, private dinner party of fine food, engaging wit, and sparkling conversation at New York City's legendary Algonquin Hotel."

John will spend the evening with George Stephanopoulos, Christopher Buckley, Roz Chast, Delia Ephron, Malcolm Gladwell, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Adam Gopnik, John Lithgow, Anna Deavere Smith, and Ali Wentworth. This one's costing me $200,000, but I know John will remember it forever.

As a mother of three boys, Mary doesn't often splurge on frivolous things for herself, so I'm going to doll her up with the most gorgeous Sofia Cashmere evening wrap I've ever seen. I won't tell her the fur on the trim is real, otherwise she probably wouldn't wear it, but this warm, soft and elegant piece will stay with her forever. Oops, this one only costs $1,495.00, so I may have her and John share the round table package, since that's what she really wants anyway.

That leaves Doug Dezotell. I decided to give Doug a hot and trendy black leather bomber jacket in which he can show off his new and trim physique (after losing a bunch of weight following heart surgery). Can't you just see Doug showing up for church in this slick black jacket ($1,295)? He will also need one of the world's fastest motorcycles to go with this jacket. I might order him a customized Martin acoustic guitar, too, since he likes to sing for us in the newsroom.

Oh, by the way, don't mention these gifts to any of my coworkers if you see them on the street. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise -- or for them to get their hopes up and start fantasizing.

-- Sadie Fowler is the lifestyles editor at the Times-Gazette. She may be reached at sfowler@t-g.com.