A smashing good time -- at least for my cat

You could have had one of mine if you'd been within throwing distance of the house Saturday morning. I'd spent hours working on a special cake for my son to take to his school's Winter Festival that night for the cakewalk. It's a snowman cake I've made before and everyone loves, and is just a lot of fun to do. (I'll include the instructions at the end of the column.)

I finished it up in a foil lasagna tray because the high sides let me cover it in plastic wrap and I don't have to worry about the covering messing it up.

No. I have to worry about the cat messing it up.

In the brief time between placing the cake on the dining room table, finding my shoes and opening the front door to carry the cake out to the car, Kismet the Brain Damaged Cat found a new throne. (I'm not kidding about the brain damage. He was abandoned so young and had such health issues his first few months of life, I really do think he is a few bits short of a kibble.)

One of the snowman's Mini Oreo eyes was missing, the other one now looked as though it were crawling down his cheek. The candy orange slice nose, the chocolate-covered peanut mouth and buttons, the Fruit Roll-up scarf -- all had been pushed, mushed, and vanished into the coconut topping.

I yelled. I chased him away. I surveyed the damage and yelled again.

Buzz came into the room and we both looked at the ruined cake, tears in our eyes.

Then we both burst out laughing.

You've heard the old excuse, "My cat ate my homework?" I think we may be the first to say "The cat sat on our homework."

Kiz sits on anything and everything, especially if I'm vertical and he can't claim the left knee (Karma always gets the right.) Now I know all cats are comfort lovers and all cats have a thing for paper bags. Karma loves a sunlit patch of carpet and a windowsill, and on those cooler evenings, you can find both of them lying spread-eagle across the heating vents like miniature spotted bearskin rugs.

But Kismet takes it to new levels. Any cardboard box that comes into the house is his, regardless of size. I caught him Sunday trying to wedge his 13-pound butt into a half-sized Kleenex box. Getting in wasn't as much of a problem as getting out. I have got to invest in a video camera -- AFV has a big check waiting for me ...

The fuzz-butt managed to squish the cake, but the plastic wrap lived up to its industrial strength reputation and actual parts of cat never touched actual parts of cake, so the family at least got to appreciate it, even if the cake walk winner didn't. We joked about Cat Butt Cake all weekend and the guys were actually grateful to Kiz the Cake Killer because I've never let them taste my special cakewalk cake before.

Later, Kismet was sitting on the book I was trying to read, then moved to the pile of paperwork my husband has to do every Sunday. Then he decided he had to sit on a tiny scrap of paper towel on top of the laundry hamper.

"He can't seem to find a spot to settle," I said.

"He'll never be satisfied again," said my husband. "Nothing is as soft as cake."

Snowman Cake

1 box white cake mix

1 tub of white icing

1 small bag of shredded coconut

Fruit By the Foot

Chocolate covered peanuts (Or raisins if there are peanut allergies issues)

Large pretzels

One candy orange slice

Mini Oreos

The best part of this recipe is that you have to buy a whole bag of Mini Oreos, a whole box of Fruit by The Foot, a whole box of chocolate covered peanuts -- and you use very few of them. So while the cake walk winners may be enjoying your snowman cake, you get to nibble on all the leftover decorating supplies.

Bake the cake according to instructions, but use one 9" pan and one 8" pan. When the layers have cooled, using the smaller pan as a guide, cut a small arc out of the bigger layer. The small layer should fit snugly into it, making the tops and bottom parts of the snowman. Spread the frosting over the cake. Take two of the Mini Oreos and slightly shift one cookie side of each, so that some of the white icing shows. These are the eyes. Press the end of the orange slice in for a nose, then use the chocolate-covered peanuts for the mouth and buttons. These are great because they are different sizes and look like rocks or lumps of coal. Use the large pretzels for arms.

Gently press coconut on the cake, trying not to cover the eyes and mouth. Unroll the Fruit by the Foot and place it around the "neck" of the snowman for his scarf.

Cover well and store in the fridge until cat can be sequestered and an escape route is clear to the car.

Cat Butt Cake

Do all of the above, but leave the cake out on any flat surface. Turn your back for 10 seconds or less. If you have a cat, you will, by that time, have Cat Butt Cake.