Sadie's got a lot to look forward to

My coworker Sadie is now home with her new baby Dani. She sent us a text message saying she would be in touch later because she was still getting used to the changes in her life.

I had to laugh. If she's waiting to get used to those changes, we may never hear from her again. As soon as you get used to one change, whether it's how to sneeze after a C-Section without leaving yourself in agony, or how to stop being mesmerized every time you stare into your baby's eyes, there is another change just waiting for you. Besides the diapers, I mean.

Oh, but how much fun!

I envy her really. The first year is such an adventure, as you watch your child grow and learn every day. The firsts are legion -- the first time her eyes track your movement, the first smile, the first bath, the first giggle, the first word. My husband swears the first world of all our children was "Dada" and for the sake of family harmony, I'll just let him keep thinking that. In fact, Scott's first word was "Mama," and he hasn't said it since unless it was followed with "Can you..." or "I need ...."

Ben's first word probably was "Dada," the second was "Mama," and the third was "cookie," but then he didn't bother learning any others for about three years. I was beginning to seriously consider the possibility of a learning disability just before I put him in pre-school. I realized, after the first week at school, when he came home speaking in complete sentences and the Queen's English, that the problem hadn't been him, it had been big brother. As long as Scott was there to interpret "Uhn-uhnnn-UH!" as "I want the red truck, not the yellow one. Yellow clashes with my Pull-ups," Ben saw no need to speak for himself. If there is one trait the boys inherited in equal proportions from both parents, it's laziness.

Now we can't shut him up.

I really can't remember Buzz's first word, but I think it was "Scott." He and his oldest brother have a special bond that's only grown stronger over the years. He has an amazing vocabulary these days, but the only thing I seem to hear him say lately is "I don't get it" -- usually after eavesdropping on a serious conversation I'm having with his 17-year-old brother.

Yes, I envy Sadie those special firsts that are on their way. I don't, however, envy her the other firsts, such as the first mad dash to the emergency room to get peas plucked from a toddler's nose. It cost me $70 for a one-second tweak of the tweezers. I stopped at the drug store on the way home and bought a pair of tweezers for every room in the house, and it's a good thing I did, because Scott went on to see what else would fit there in his younger years, from dimes to beads, beans and Legos. I'm really, really glad he grew out of the "up his nose" stage before he entered the young adult world of drug temptation. I don't think tweezers will do anything for cocaine ...

I don't envy her the dirty diapers, the fevers, the teething, the temper tantrums (they never grow out of those, they just transform them into slammed doors and rolled eyes), or the colic.

I do, in a tiny, masochistic way, envy her the night time feedings. There was always something so mystical about curling up in the rocking chair at 3 a.m. and looking at the stars through the window while holding the baby of the moment. His skin would be soft and smelling fresh with baby oil or powder, and a chubby fist would be wrapped around a Diet Coke or a candy bar. Oh, wait, that was my chubby fist. His chubby fist was usually wrapped around the lapel of my robe and he would stare up at me with those big eyes.

The best part was after each one learned to smile. My son would be there in my arms, looking up at me, drinking from his bottle, then he'd grin. A big, wet, sloppy, milk escaping from the corners of his mouth kind of grin. He was just saying, "I know you! You're that Mom person! You make me feel warm/dry/happy/comfortable/fed.

"Loved."

No, Sadie, the changes never end, and neither do the firsts -- thank goodness! I no longer have those first steps to anticipate, or the first day of school. But I look forward to the first wedding, the first college graduation (hopefully preceding the first wedding) and, yes, oh, yes, the first grandchild.

Then, I'll get to experience all those fun firsts again -- the smiles, the giggles, the baths, the words. Those other firsts? The dirty diapers? The doctor's appointments? The colic and teething? I'll leave those to the future daughters-in-law. After all, I wouldn't want to deprive her of the most wonderful experience in the world, now would I?