Pass on the whine; I'm not having any of it

I haven't been watching as much of the Winter Olympics as I usually do, but to be honest, from some of the reports I've seen, I'm not missing much -- unless they're now offering a gold medal for whining.

I haven't heard this much whining in a sport since Connors and McEnroe retired from tennis, Rose left baseball and the Bird quit playing basketball.

We don't like their leggings.

He's too gay.

The course designer was plotting against us.

The hockey players are too rough. (Seriously? That's like saying the downhill racers are too fast. Oh, wait, that's how they Austrians conspired against Vonn, isn't it?)

For the most part, the whining has not been done by the competitors. Their entourages and bloggers have been more than happy to substitute pouts from the sidelines. I find it painfully ironic that "good sportsmanship" is a term that indicates class, fair play, and winning and losing equally graciously -- all qualities that are growing increasingly rare in sports.

The bigger the sport, the less sportsmanship there seems to be. I'm a Peyton Manning fan, but even I had problems with his sulking retreat from the Superbowl. I don't really think the coaching great Vince Lombardi created the phenomenon, but he summed it up "Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing."

Unfortunately, all too many people feel that way, and too many of them are the ones with all the money. Sponsors, college donors, team owners -- they want money, or else... And of course, the ridiculously exorbitant amount these so-called superstars get paid is only fuel added to the fire.

I'm probably the only person I know of who has stood up for Tiger Wood. For the cheating? No, of course, not. For the lies, absolutely not. But I think I understand why Tiger did what he did in the way that he did.

For decades, he has been on the golf circuit with his father at his side. Who needs to develop a conscience when you've got one staying in the same motel room with you every night?

Once his father died, Tiger was left to make his own decisions -- and he made some very bad ones. That is what I understand, with a whopping big old case of "Been there, done that."

When my own father died, I was 15 and a total daddy's girl. Mom was just that person who cooked and bought clothes and stuff. I went into total rebel mode after his death and did things even Tiger hasn't. Part of it was because my dad wasn't there to stop me -- but part of it was because my dad wasn't there. Grief's impact differs from person to person, situation to situation, especially when the person who died was such a major part of your life.

Tiger was essentially a case of arrested development. His anchor and his moral compass disappeared with his father, and he didn't know how to find that same anchor and compass within himself. He reverted to a teenager cut free from parental guidance -- and disapproval -- for the first time in his life. He was a college freshman trying to see how many women he could get, enjoying being a free "adult."

The only problem was he really was an adult -- and the behavior was not. If he had been single, no one would have thought a thing about his escapades. In fact, he would probably have been nominated for several testosterone-inspired He-Man awards. But he was married and he was wrong, which is why I'm glad he lost the sponsorships he did lose, and I wish he'd lost the others. Kudos to the corporations who dropped him (which may be the only time you ever, ever hear me give kudos to any corporation.)

If the almighty dollar is behind the surge of bad sportsmanship ("We don't pay losers to endorse our products") then the almighty dollar can bring good sportsmanship back. By fiscally smacking Tiger on the paw, the companies are saying, "We don't care if you are the greatest golfer of all time and you are the biggest winner this year -- that is not the way to behave." It would be a shame if it took a deflated bank account to inflate a sense of right and wrong, but maybe, sometimes, the ends do justify the means.

I think what we as parents have to do is not only provide a spiritual anchor and moral compass for our children, but embed it in them -- teach them how to look within themselves for the answers. We teach them how to cook, drive and find their own apartments because we know we won't always be here to do it for them. Why not teach them how to make those judgment calls as well?

We've made a start of it at our house. Family game night is a tradition -- and so is the main rule. Playing and having fun is more important than winning -- and whiners get sidelined immediately.