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Bedford Ramblings
Steve Mills

Lenticular printing put to good use for child abuse prevention

Posted Wednesday, May 8, 2013, at 4:01 PM
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  • I like the billboard. It is something that should be used all over the world. But, as a survivor of child abuse, I can tell you that it really isn't going to stop anything. Children are programmed and taught that if the parent or abuser is caught, you are going to get hurt worse than you are already receiving. You are also told that no one is going to believe you since you are a child. The sign is a great step in the right direction. It's better than what is being used currently. Too many children are abused at home and have no idea what their parents are doing is wrong. And there are parents who are beating their children because that is the way they were raised. Education should be placed out there for everyone. I also believe that along with the sex offender registry, we should have a child abuse registry. So law enforcement will be able to check on the children and make sure they are safe after the courts return them back to their abusers.

    -- Posted by PrpleHze on Thu, May 9, 2013, at 2:05 PM
  • This may be a touchy subject for you and possibly others out there, and it may seem to be a strange question but what is a good definition of child abuse?

    In the exploration of that definition we also would need to discuss what forms abuse can take, such as physical, mental, deprivation, isolation, etc.

    Does it include corporal punishment? If so are their degrees of corporal punishment that are acceptable?

    If you don't believe in corporal punishment what method do you believe can be used to teach children that their are rewards and penalties for certain behavior? Could this punishment also be taken to extremes and become child abuse?

    Is it the degree of punishment that turns disciplining into child abuse or the length of time it continues, repetitiveness....?

    What would be warning signals that parents should look for within themselves or spouse that they might have a predisposition for abusing their children?

    A lot of questions, but maybe somewhere to start the conversation?

    -- Posted by stevemills on Fri, May 10, 2013, at 11:10 AM
  • Child abuse is a subject that a lot of people do not like to discuss. It's something that too many feel that it's none of their business and think that people are allowed to do whatever they want to their children.

    A good definition is basically something that harms a child. Whether is it a hoarding situation or whether it is physical/verbal/mental. It all leaves scars.

    I do not believe in corporal punishment at all. When my children attended public schools, I always sent a note at the beginning of each year explaining that they do not have my permission to hit my child.

    It doesn't matter if you hit your child once or once a day - it is all abuse. My biggest peeve are people who whip their children and claim it is "out of love". Not only are you hurting the child physically but you are confusing them mentally. The child goes up thinking that violence=love.

    I have never laid a hand on my children. Not even when they were toddlers. When they were younger, time-outs in the corner, written apologies, and explanations were all I did to them. I would sit them down and we would talk about what they did and why they did it. No screaming, no yelling, no hitting. As they are now teens and a pre-teen, it is still the same thing.

    Warning signals can be hidden. My "parents" lived a normal life. Neighbors were friends with them. They seemed all nice and polite to others. But inside the home was a different place. I have never, to this day, figured out why it happened to me while my siblings went untouched. They (parents) were both raised in homes where beatings were punishment so they were, I guess, carrying on the tradition. But if you notice your children becoming withdrawn, more quiet than usual, no longer wanting to associate with the family, refuses to wear summer attire (shorts, no socks,etc), then something is going on.

    -- Posted by PrpleHze on Fri, May 10, 2013, at 11:43 AM
  • My siblings and I grew up with knowledge of a what was referred to in our house as the Cat o' nine tail. I am sure I received it more than once, but the only time I can recall was 6th grade. I deserved it and it was the last time.

    Basically it was a piece of flat leather that had been cut in strips. The strips stung like heck but never really abused, it never cut the skin nor did any real damage. Nonetheless, it was something we did not want to experience.

    It was not administered frequently. I believe it was because we behaved, (or did not get caught) but it was also because my parents did not enjoy the process either.

    That is not to say my father did not get upset. He sure did, but he knew to take it out on other things rather than us kids. We kids also had a sixth sense for when to make a clear path around my father. :-)

    I can remember a time when we kids must have been arguing around the dinner table. I am sure we were warned but suddenly my father picked up a squeeze bottle of ketchup and threw it with all his might out of the room.

    I don't think he was aiming it at anything but it broke the aquarium in the next room. Water and fish poured out (as I remember). Between being scared silly and catching the fish, things never escalated past this point, but it was a good reminder that he had limits.

    The event stayed in our memory for while, mainly because of the trail of ketchup drops outlined on the ceiling from where he had squeezed the bottle at the same time as throwing. I don't remember how long that stayed before it was painted over.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Fri, May 10, 2013, at 1:16 PM
  • The reason some believe that corporal punishment is okay is because they believe the child "learns" not to do something again. However, the child isn't actually learning anything. It's more fear than it is education. When I got my teeth knocked out for talking back, or hit with a leather weight belt, did it teach me anything? No. I still talked back. Why? Because after a while of constant threats, beatings, etc the fear went away. Because I knew no matter what I did, I would get a beating. If my siblings did something wrong, I got punished for it as well.

    Some people may not agree with my type of parenting. Just as I don't agree with other people's way of parenting. What works for me, may not work for other parents. But again, I started at the time they were toddlers and kept at it.

    -- Posted by PrpleHze on Fri, May 10, 2013, at 7:37 PM
  • I believe my experience is no where close to what you experienced. Being blamed for others actions and punished physically is obviously wrong.

    Being hit in the face, punched in the stomach, and as we have seen in other situations, chained to beds and locked in closets etc., is so wrong that it should not need saying, but that is not anywhere near the spankings we got, so I do not have a problem with the way we were raised.

    I can tell you that we certainly did NOT try to push the limit to see how far my father would take it and we did not receive it enough to "get used to it". Your situation was certainly abuse, mine was discipline in the way they thought proper at the time and I do not feel scarred.

    I knew when I responded to you the first time that this was a strong emotional memory and philosophy. I appreciate your sharing.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Sat, May 11, 2013, at 4:00 PM
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