Bedford Ramblings
Steve Mills

With extremely sad heart I write about Deb's mother passing, Wanda Lee

Posted Tuesday, November 27, 2018, at 2:25 PM
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    Sorry for your loss Steve.

    Sending positive vibes your way.

    -- Posted by RocketValentine on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 6:42 PM
  • Thanks RV. She sure left a void of positive vibes so we can soak them all up.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 7:09 PM
  • Sincere condolences to you and your Family. Mrs. Deb I know you will miss her terribly. You all will. God has taken her home to rest, no more sorrow, pain.

    God bless you all.

    -- Posted by Wolf Clan on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 7:46 PM
  • Thanks Wolf Clan. I will pass along all these condolences to Deb. Can you imagine, she does not read my blog? Yeh, you probably can. :-)

    -- Posted by stevemills on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 7:57 PM
  • I am so sorry to hear this, Steve. She was blessed to spend her final years in a home filled with love and kindness. I think that is the most that any of us could ask. You are a special person.

    -- Posted by lazarus on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 9:19 PM
  • We hope she enjoyed her 20 years with us. Deb always made sure she got out once or twice a week and always had a meal somewhere so she would never feel “locked in”. Deb enjoyed it as well, I am sure ;-)

    I am kind of reclusive so I guess I’ll be getting out more in the future. As much as I travelled, it was nice to stay home. Whenever I actually went out with them Mommy would suspect we were up to something, like a surprise party. She was usually right. LOL

    -- Posted by stevemills on Tue, Nov 27, 2018, at 9:56 PM
  • It was comforting to Deb yesterday when she went to town that numerous employees of places she and Mommy frequented went out of their way to share condolences, hugs and memories of their experiences with her.

    Mommy was big on buying bags of Chinese candy, then sorting into baggies that she would give any and all she met.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 7:41 AM
  • Steve, my condolences. She sounds like a person everybody should like to know.

    -- Posted by Tyger on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 8:24 AM
  • My sincere condolences for your loss. It sounds as if she left on her own terms. There is a lot to be said for that. You are to be commended for having her in your home. She sounds like she was a delightful person. Be blessed.

    -- Posted by bbbluebird on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 8:45 AM
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    Steve, I'm so sorry for your loss. We don't usually think about this, but the pain at times like this is the price we have to pay for the love that really continues for ever.

    -- Posted by fair share on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 9:02 AM
  • Thank you all. To many she was a quiet but cheerful and thoughtful soul.

    One big reason I continued to grow bitter melons was so she could take pleasure in giving them to the Chinese we met in the area. I guess I will grow again at least this next season in her memory.

    While a small child she was included in a book about the Chinese community in Northern California, coincidentally by the same name "Bitter Melon".

    She shared many stories from her earliest memories, including Chiang Kai-shek rallies, gambling houses and being the only Chinese person bused to an all-white school. This would have been in the early 1920's.

    She never knew why that happened but remembers walking several miles along a levee to catch public transportation to the school. Her mother must have known it would help her in years to come and in fact she had little trouble fitting in.

    While I learned of some mischievous activities she participated in as a child, she never caused any issues at school and learned to get along with everyone.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 10:46 AM
  • As I write this Deb continues to get distant relatives and friends seemingly coming out of nowhere to express sympathy and planning to make the trip to El Paso. Most have not seen her in 40-50 years but they both remember her kindness and their parents always talking so well of her.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 10:56 AM
  • A side note which a sad in another way. I was warned to take preemptive measures in case someone wants to take advantage of us while we are out.

    I've already talked to the Sheriff's department and a friend who does not handle visitations well has offered to watch the house. Isn't it a shame we have to be concerned about this?

    -- Posted by stevemills on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 3:30 PM
  • Sorry for your loss Steve. It sounds like she was able to enjoy her last days and was prepared for the inevitable.

    I am praying for comfort for you and the family. Losses like this leave a hole in our lives that aren't easily or quickly healed. However, it sounds like she had already laid the groundwork for the healing to take place.

    Be blessed!

    -- Posted by Liveforlight on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 7:29 PM
  • Sorry for your loss Steve.

    -- Posted by lets be real on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 7:36 PM
  • Thanks Folks. You might be right about laying the groundwork. She woke up long enough to be sure I heard she was not planning to be here for Christmas.

    That might have taken a lot of effort to pull herself up and out of the sleep she was going into.

    -- Posted by stevemills on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 8:19 PM
  • Sorry for your loss.

    Smoke and prayers for your family.

    -- Posted by quietmike on Wed, Nov 28, 2018, at 8:56 PM
  • I'm so sorry to hear that Steve. She was such a wonderful lady. My condolences...

    -- Posted by espoontoon on Thu, Nov 29, 2018, at 6:08 AM
  • Thank, she would often fuss about any extra things we did for her, but she was special and deserved it all.

    I tried to gather as many stories about her early life as I could and on Halloween she asked with a glint in her eye, "What do people do with wax and soap?" A little more probing and she admitted that she "might" have been involved in some Halloween pranks as a teenager.

    It is actually hard to imagine so I would have liked to have seen that. :-)

    -- Posted by stevemills on Thu, Nov 29, 2018, at 9:23 AM
  • Steve and Deb and Babe. I loved getting to meet your mom! She always had a positive thought and made you feel good.I read a saying, "death is not a period, just a comma" We will all in our time meet again. Thank you for being such a loving couple that made her life complete. Love to both of you. Tears will eventually wash away the pain, but not now. Your garden buddy---HP

    -- Posted by horsepoopperson on Thu, Nov 29, 2018, at 12:24 PM
  • Sorry for your loss Steve.

    -- Posted by cmcclanahan on Thu, Nov 29, 2018, at 2:06 PM
  • Thanks HPP, Carl. I appreciate everyone's words of sorrow and condolences. Many suffer through something like this without the public support you folks have been giving us.

    Another help in a less direct way are these four legged creatures we have filling our life. I won't share a picture but right now I have a baby kitten in a crude sling around my neck which I found today with eyes stuck shut and rather weak.

    Don't know if she will make it but when I put her down she cries even though I have her with other cats recovering in our ICU unit and on a heat pad. She must hear/feel my heart beat and body warmth. As soon as I pick her up, she is asleep but I needed both hands, thus the sling made out of an old pull-over jammy of Deb's.

    I have to go out to feed everyone in a few minutes. Maybe I can get Deb to take over surrogate parenthood?

    -- Posted by stevemills on Thu, Nov 29, 2018, at 4:17 PM
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